So I have been seeing Ice Cream man pretty regularly, once a week with some breaks when he was away etc but its been sort of regular.
Last night he invited me over to his flat for dinner, he made melon and prosciutto for starters and we got takeaway pizza.
It was a bit awkward at his place as he sat as far away from me as possible. I don't know if he was nervous or that he didn't want me to think that he was going to pounce on me so he sat far away We chatted and ate and shared a bottle of bubbly, but there was no physical contact at all. None. At the end of the night it was more awkward as I think he wanted to kiss me but didn't know how to approach that. Frankly neither did I.
However, I was relieved he didn't kiss me or try anything.
Which brings me to the question, Why do I feel so awkward, Why can I not move on and let someone else into my life!
So I am going to jump the gun here and tell him that I am not ready for a relationship. I am going to stop seeing him. I cant do it, I cant move on yet.
What the fuck is wrong with me!!
I seem to have found myself in another fine mess.............
Sunday, 26 January 2014
Friday, 24 January 2014
superwoman has left the building
After 9 months of not following a clock and schedule I was brought back to earth with a resounding thud this last weekend.
A full week at work, learning the ropes in a new job and a new company and a weekend with errands to run, which included doing things for Mum, left me gasping for air on Sunday.
Saturday morning I had to meet Mum and take her to the optician to get her new prescription glasses. As I too needed an eye check (my myopia is getting better as the eyes correct the short and long sightedness by itself) to see if my bifocal progressive glasses needed changing ( fuck getting old and wearing bifocals).
Mum and I had lunch after which we did a bit of shopping and I waited with her at the bus stop. Half an hour later, after swearing at the bus companies as they were raising bus fares but still couldnt get the timing of the buses right, I flagged a taxi and put Mum into that.
The rest of Saturday was me running to make the 2.45 pm screening of a movie to find that when I got to the Cineplex, there were no more (good) seats for that screening, off again to another Cineplex close by and getting my preferred seat to watch one of the list of Oscar nominated movies.
Perhaps I was trying to do too much in one weekend. After work its usually back home to cook dinner, and enough for me to pack for lunch the next day ( am still trying to be gluten free so takeaways are not a good option for me) and lets not forget laundry. So I figured that I could indulge in a movie on the weekend.........
I had to do grocery shopping after the movie and its just so damn crowded everywhere in Singapore that I wondered if commuter/pedestrian rage will be the next big thing here.....road rage already is an issue but if you see the crowds in our underground rail system or in the malls on a saturday evening you too would wonder about commuter/pedestrian rage!
By the time I sat down to have dinner at 9pm I was so overwhelmed with my day and knowing that I had lots to do the next day, I cancelled a Sunday afternoon date with Ice Cream man. He had messaged earlier and when I told him I was in the movies, he said he would have come with me if I had asked. It never occurred to me to ask....
Obviously my super powers arent working, somehow somewhere my personal kryptonite has found a way to corrupt my internal system. Priorities have to be redefined. I have finally realised that I just cant do it all Damn it I dont want to be Superwoman anymore!
A full week at work, learning the ropes in a new job and a new company and a weekend with errands to run, which included doing things for Mum, left me gasping for air on Sunday.
Saturday morning I had to meet Mum and take her to the optician to get her new prescription glasses. As I too needed an eye check (my myopia is getting better as the eyes correct the short and long sightedness by itself) to see if my bifocal progressive glasses needed changing ( fuck getting old and wearing bifocals).
Mum and I had lunch after which we did a bit of shopping and I waited with her at the bus stop. Half an hour later, after swearing at the bus companies as they were raising bus fares but still couldnt get the timing of the buses right, I flagged a taxi and put Mum into that.
The rest of Saturday was me running to make the 2.45 pm screening of a movie to find that when I got to the Cineplex, there were no more (good) seats for that screening, off again to another Cineplex close by and getting my preferred seat to watch one of the list of Oscar nominated movies.
Perhaps I was trying to do too much in one weekend. After work its usually back home to cook dinner, and enough for me to pack for lunch the next day ( am still trying to be gluten free so takeaways are not a good option for me) and lets not forget laundry. So I figured that I could indulge in a movie on the weekend.........
I had to do grocery shopping after the movie and its just so damn crowded everywhere in Singapore that I wondered if commuter/pedestrian rage will be the next big thing here.....road rage already is an issue but if you see the crowds in our underground rail system or in the malls on a saturday evening you too would wonder about commuter/pedestrian rage!
By the time I sat down to have dinner at 9pm I was so overwhelmed with my day and knowing that I had lots to do the next day, I cancelled a Sunday afternoon date with Ice Cream man. He had messaged earlier and when I told him I was in the movies, he said he would have come with me if I had asked. It never occurred to me to ask....
Obviously my super powers arent working, somehow somewhere my personal kryptonite has found a way to corrupt my internal system. Priorities have to be redefined. I have finally realised that I just cant do it all Damn it I dont want to be Superwoman anymore!
Sunday, 19 January 2014
FILTH
I recently learnt a new acronym.
F - Failed
I - in
L- London
T - Tried
H- Here
For years men have been coming to Asia to work, either with big bucks to accompany their sojourn in the exotic east or totally skint like the majority of us. The ones with the hefty expat packages were the CEO's and like, and they got the big housing allowances and lived it up in full comfort that their money could afford.
The Asian woman of course threw themselves at these men, even the married ones. Once the contract was over, the men go home with the families and forget the mistresses that they had. Or they divorce their wives of 20 years and set up home here with the (much) younger new Asian wife.
On the other hand you have the ordinary Caucasian male that comes over here. He has heard stories of how Asian women throw themselves at them ( and he heard right) all because he is a white skinned male. He doesn't need to be good looking, or have the body of Adonis, as long as he is white he will get laid. There are hundreds of single white men here, from the young to the old, all waiting for their jungle bunny ( a derogative term for Malay or Indonesian women, this one I first heard from the expat wives) or to get yellow fever ( an affliction that single white males who date only Chinese women get ).
Which is how the acronym FILTH came about.
It is I guess a male Caucasian equivalent to what we call our women who throw themselves at only white men - The SPG or Sarong Party Girl. I have had that moniker thrown at me as I do date white men but they aren't my only source of amusement, I have dated Asian and Indian men too (see my post here on sarong party me) .
Its not all about chasing the exotic though, there are the genuine cases where two people meet, fall in love and make a future together. It is however exotic, it is different, whether its from the Caucasian point of view or from the Asian. Its different. Its not always better, its just different.
I do think that there is some truth in me being labelled an SPG, I tried to date Asian men but most of them just didn't hold my attention long enough. I relate to men that have had a more "western" outlook to life and if there were Asian men out there who were brought up in the west and had the same sense of warped humour I had, then I would be asking him out. Until then I guess I will be the (ageing or is it over the hill) SPG and the (older) FILTH are quite welcome to ask me out.
Its not all about chasing the exotic though, there are the genuine cases where two people meet, fall in love and make a future together. It is however exotic, it is different, whether its from the Caucasian point of view or from the Asian. Its different. Its not always better, its just different.
I do think that there is some truth in me being labelled an SPG, I tried to date Asian men but most of them just didn't hold my attention long enough. I relate to men that have had a more "western" outlook to life and if there were Asian men out there who were brought up in the west and had the same sense of warped humour I had, then I would be asking him out. Until then I guess I will be the (ageing or is it over the hill) SPG and the (older) FILTH are quite welcome to ask me out.
Thursday, 16 January 2014
celluloid dreams
Each year I try to make time to watch all the movies that are Oscar contenders, but invariably fail. I then turn to the DVD's or wait for the movies to be shown on cable TV (which in Singapore isn't a great option as censorship is pretty tight so tits and ass get cut out and bad words bleeped over and any gay scenes are butchered out of the movie)
Even with the censorship rules, Singapore has always been a movie loving culture, as frankly, there is nothing else to do on weekends. we either go for a movie, wander aimlessly through shiny malls or eat. I do wish that we had better movies playing at the cinemas and not just the usual blockbusters but well..... one does live in hope.
I watch movies on my own, as I dont see how watching movies with someone is fun. You sit in the dark watching a screen and no talking or interaction with the person next to you, seriously no talking during a movie........so why bother watching it with someone..... and I like my popcorn, one big bucket all to myself and I am sure a date would be horrified at the way I can munch through all that popcorn.....
So these past couple of months when I was still free and not a slave to my bank account, I managed to catch a few of the much anticipated releases.
1. Desolation of Smaug - the second installation of the Hobbit series - I am a big fan of Peter Jackson and the lord of the rings etc so this one was a no brainer and a had to watch movie.... and while Peter Jackson did take liberties with the story, it is still a magnificent piece of story telling.
2. The Counsellor - I really liked this and no not because it starred Javier Bardem and Michael Fassbender. The movie starts with Michael F in bed with Penelope Cruz and the inevitable sex scene but this sex scene is one with a difference, its an oral sex scene where he goes down on her......... anyway..... I watched it on my own which as it turns out was a good idea. It would have been an awkward moment if as planned, I had watched it with Ice Cream Man. That sensual scene at the beginning would have had me squirming in my seat while seated with a date. One doesn't go watch these kind of movies with someone one has just met.....
I enjoyed the movie and its one of those movies that provokes one to start thinking after you leave the cinema. its about consequences.
3. 12 years a Slave - While this was a very interesting story, very heartfelt, and disturbing, I found some of the way it was filmed a bit irritating. The breaks between scenes where the camera looks off into the distance were a bit too long drawn out and quite senseless. But I did love the movie and cried like a baby
4. American Hustle - Christian Bale and Amy Adams were very good in this. All of the cast were good but I am a big Christian Bale fan and while he may be a prat in real life, he transforms into a whole new character while on film. This one I want to watch again as there was a man sitting in front of me who kept turning around and giving me dirty looks when I was munching on my popcorn which in turn made me very conscious of the noise I must have been making, which made me tense and I didn't quite enjoy the experience. Stupid dick.
There are a few more that I am eagerly waiting for and will watch before the Oscars.
1. Wolf of Wall Street
2. Inside Llewyn Davis - Coen Brothers - nothing left to say but a must watch for me
3. Her
I guess real life has its limitations which is why my celluloid dreams hold so much fascination..........
Even with the censorship rules, Singapore has always been a movie loving culture, as frankly, there is nothing else to do on weekends. we either go for a movie, wander aimlessly through shiny malls or eat. I do wish that we had better movies playing at the cinemas and not just the usual blockbusters but well..... one does live in hope.
I watch movies on my own, as I dont see how watching movies with someone is fun. You sit in the dark watching a screen and no talking or interaction with the person next to you, seriously no talking during a movie........so why bother watching it with someone..... and I like my popcorn, one big bucket all to myself and I am sure a date would be horrified at the way I can munch through all that popcorn.....
So these past couple of months when I was still free and not a slave to my bank account, I managed to catch a few of the much anticipated releases.
1. Desolation of Smaug - the second installation of the Hobbit series - I am a big fan of Peter Jackson and the lord of the rings etc so this one was a no brainer and a had to watch movie.... and while Peter Jackson did take liberties with the story, it is still a magnificent piece of story telling.
2. The Counsellor - I really liked this and no not because it starred Javier Bardem and Michael Fassbender. The movie starts with Michael F in bed with Penelope Cruz and the inevitable sex scene but this sex scene is one with a difference, its an oral sex scene where he goes down on her......... anyway..... I watched it on my own which as it turns out was a good idea. It would have been an awkward moment if as planned, I had watched it with Ice Cream Man. That sensual scene at the beginning would have had me squirming in my seat while seated with a date. One doesn't go watch these kind of movies with someone one has just met.....
I enjoyed the movie and its one of those movies that provokes one to start thinking after you leave the cinema. its about consequences.
3. 12 years a Slave - While this was a very interesting story, very heartfelt, and disturbing, I found some of the way it was filmed a bit irritating. The breaks between scenes where the camera looks off into the distance were a bit too long drawn out and quite senseless. But I did love the movie and cried like a baby
4. American Hustle - Christian Bale and Amy Adams were very good in this. All of the cast were good but I am a big Christian Bale fan and while he may be a prat in real life, he transforms into a whole new character while on film. This one I want to watch again as there was a man sitting in front of me who kept turning around and giving me dirty looks when I was munching on my popcorn which in turn made me very conscious of the noise I must have been making, which made me tense and I didn't quite enjoy the experience. Stupid dick.
There are a few more that I am eagerly waiting for and will watch before the Oscars.
1. Wolf of Wall Street
2. Inside Llewyn Davis - Coen Brothers - nothing left to say but a must watch for me
3. Her
I guess real life has its limitations which is why my celluloid dreams hold so much fascination..........
Sunday, 12 January 2014
the new job
I knew it would take me a few days to get used to rushing around like a headless chicken each morning. I knew that I would have to rush through my morning ritual of coffee and papers, gone were the days of relaxing and reading the papers for 2 hours each morning. I had to condense that pleasure, like instead of a two hour love making session I get a 5 minute quickie by myself (which is what sex is like for me these days so I should be used to it ...right?)
The worst part of the morning however is the what to wear debacle, and shit I don't have nice shoes to wear to work either..... or is that reserved for the commute.... squeezing myself into crowded trains to get to work on time..
put all that with learning to work with new people and a new environment and you come up with my first week at work.....its been an education. I was an unproductive member of society for nine months ( I could have had a baby!!) and getting back into the swing of things is taking time. I resent the fact that I have to go back to work which makes things so much worse.
Educating myself on the intricacies of the office politics is my first priority, learning who is the office bitch, the office gossip and the usual back stabbers has already started.....lesson one was on Friday morning....
But I will get used to it, I will become a drone once again and I will learn how to avoid gossip and politics.
On the upside, I have old colleagues I worked with for years here and these are people I like and trust. I get to go out everyday and interact with people, no more sitting at home and talking to the plants just to make sure I haven't lost my voice. I also now work right smack in the middle of Singapore's shopping street and I get to feast my eyes on window displays and attractive men that work in the area. My new role also is a challenging one with me having to work and create new processes which is what I enjoy doing.
So its not all doom and gloom, I just need to shake off the lethargy and enjoy the work again.....
The worst part of the morning however is the what to wear debacle, and shit I don't have nice shoes to wear to work either..... or is that reserved for the commute.... squeezing myself into crowded trains to get to work on time..
put all that with learning to work with new people and a new environment and you come up with my first week at work.....its been an education. I was an unproductive member of society for nine months ( I could have had a baby!!) and getting back into the swing of things is taking time. I resent the fact that I have to go back to work which makes things so much worse.
Educating myself on the intricacies of the office politics is my first priority, learning who is the office bitch, the office gossip and the usual back stabbers has already started.....lesson one was on Friday morning....
But I will get used to it, I will become a drone once again and I will learn how to avoid gossip and politics.
On the upside, I have old colleagues I worked with for years here and these are people I like and trust. I get to go out everyday and interact with people, no more sitting at home and talking to the plants just to make sure I haven't lost my voice. I also now work right smack in the middle of Singapore's shopping street and I get to feast my eyes on window displays and attractive men that work in the area. My new role also is a challenging one with me having to work and create new processes which is what I enjoy doing.
So its not all doom and gloom, I just need to shake off the lethargy and enjoy the work again.....
Saturday, 4 January 2014
Dopey, sleepy and grumpy
I have been sick since the 28th of Dec. It started with a fever, then escalated into a very bad viral flu. I am still coughing like a TB patient which is exhausting.
The coughing is worse at night, sleep is the last thing on my mind when my lungs and chest are aching as I sit up in bed coughing. I cough to the point where I am hoping my lungs would jump out, sort themselves out and then jump back in.....
The meds make me dopey, sleepy and everything seems like a dream sequence in a movie. My head feels like its got cotton wool for brains, which is quite worrisome as I start my new job in 2 days.
Not a good start to a new job if I take on the personality of three of the seven dwarves, sleepy, dopey and grumpy.
I was doing the new year family thing at my place and I was feeling a bit better on Monday, enough for me to go get necessities with son. No 2 and clean the place to make it visitor ready. By the time New Years came around, I was back to having a fever and coughing. Lots of coughing.
I can't take the meds as they incapacitate me, which means a slower recovery but I have no choice. I still have the place to clean etc and do laundry before work on Monday. I can't afford another day like today where I was so doped out that I slept the whole bloody day!
So fingers crossed that I recover enough to make it to work meds free.
The coughing is worse at night, sleep is the last thing on my mind when my lungs and chest are aching as I sit up in bed coughing. I cough to the point where I am hoping my lungs would jump out, sort themselves out and then jump back in.....
The meds make me dopey, sleepy and everything seems like a dream sequence in a movie. My head feels like its got cotton wool for brains, which is quite worrisome as I start my new job in 2 days.
Not a good start to a new job if I take on the personality of three of the seven dwarves, sleepy, dopey and grumpy.
I was doing the new year family thing at my place and I was feeling a bit better on Monday, enough for me to go get necessities with son. No 2 and clean the place to make it visitor ready. By the time New Years came around, I was back to having a fever and coughing. Lots of coughing.
I can't take the meds as they incapacitate me, which means a slower recovery but I have no choice. I still have the place to clean etc and do laundry before work on Monday. I can't afford another day like today where I was so doped out that I slept the whole bloody day!
So fingers crossed that I recover enough to make it to work meds free.
Friday, 27 December 2013
where did the year go......
2013 seemed to go by in a flash.
This was supposed to be my navel gazing year. My year to see if I liked who I had become, my year to change some things that were not working.
I set myself some realistic resolutions last year (after all I am wiser right??) and lo and behold I seem to have pulled it off! I have achieved some of the things I set out to do.
my goals for 2012 were
Resolution no 1
I am going to speak up more and tell people what I like and what I want. I tend to shut up and let things flow even if I don't like it
And I did. I stood firm and made a stand on a few issues, what I wanted from a relationship (although not resolved, I am more vocal in asking for what I want) and the other was to say it was not OK how people treated those that I love.
Resolution no 2
I will go out with all the men that ask me. Errrr perhaps I may not go out with all but the majority of men that ask me.
And I did! I dated and met new people and while not all were good dates, I did find that good decent men do exist.
Resolution no 3
I will travel in 2013.
I may not have travelled to all the places I wanted but I did spend 6 weeks in the UK which included rediscovering my favourite city London, and 5 weeks in NZ, where I found that running a motel could be hard but rewarding work and definitely on the list as my retirement plan.
Resolution no 4
I will be a better manager in the office. I have been neglecting Corporate Goddess for awhile now. She needs to step up her game!
Epic Fail! Corporate Goddess has left the building, she quit, she has new priorities. I start a new job on the 6th of Jan, but I am no longer in pursuit of money and am quite happy to sit on the low rungs of the ladder. My job is a necessity to pay bills. I am now comfortable with knowing that and have accepted that I am not ever going to be a high achieving corporate goddess.
I have learnt a few painful lessons this year. Love sometimes isn't enough for someone to want to make a commitment. (admitting love isn't easy to some people either). Family aren't always what they seem. Most of all I have learnt that I should trust my instincts. That nagging voice at the back of my mind actually knows what its saying and ignoring it has pushed me into bad situations. It was that voice that propelled me into the world of blogging and I thank Simone (the voice) for that. Its cheaper than therapy!
So I wait for 2014 with open arms.......
This was supposed to be my navel gazing year. My year to see if I liked who I had become, my year to change some things that were not working.
I set myself some realistic resolutions last year (after all I am wiser right??) and lo and behold I seem to have pulled it off! I have achieved some of the things I set out to do.
my goals for 2012 were
Resolution no 1
I am going to speak up more and tell people what I like and what I want. I tend to shut up and let things flow even if I don't like it
And I did. I stood firm and made a stand on a few issues, what I wanted from a relationship (although not resolved, I am more vocal in asking for what I want) and the other was to say it was not OK how people treated those that I love.
Resolution no 2
I will go out with all the men that ask me. Errrr perhaps I may not go out with all but the majority of men that ask me.
And I did! I dated and met new people and while not all were good dates, I did find that good decent men do exist.
Resolution no 3
I will travel in 2013.
I may not have travelled to all the places I wanted but I did spend 6 weeks in the UK which included rediscovering my favourite city London, and 5 weeks in NZ, where I found that running a motel could be hard but rewarding work and definitely on the list as my retirement plan.
Resolution no 4
I will be a better manager in the office. I have been neglecting Corporate Goddess for awhile now. She needs to step up her game!
Epic Fail! Corporate Goddess has left the building, she quit, she has new priorities. I start a new job on the 6th of Jan, but I am no longer in pursuit of money and am quite happy to sit on the low rungs of the ladder. My job is a necessity to pay bills. I am now comfortable with knowing that and have accepted that I am not ever going to be a high achieving corporate goddess.
I have learnt a few painful lessons this year. Love sometimes isn't enough for someone to want to make a commitment. (admitting love isn't easy to some people either). Family aren't always what they seem. Most of all I have learnt that I should trust my instincts. That nagging voice at the back of my mind actually knows what its saying and ignoring it has pushed me into bad situations. It was that voice that propelled me into the world of blogging and I thank Simone (the voice) for that. Its cheaper than therapy!
So I wait for 2014 with open arms.......
Tuesday, 17 December 2013
letting go and moving on
so my emotional and dating life kind of took a weird turn a few weeks ago with me actually believing that I could carry on and have sex with A and date other men. and no I didn't go and have sex with A.
What an idiot!
I realised I couldn't do that, because I wanted a full on relationship with one man, one man to love and one man to do things with. I wanted that man to be one man. you cant separate the two. It doesnt work that way. There has been some back and forth with A these past few weeks, He wants it to be simple and uncomplicated without the restraints of a relationship aka friends with benefits, and I want a full on relationship. He doesn't want a girlfriend (and he used the line "its not you, its me") and I want a boyfriend. Can we call each other that? boyfriend and girlfriend at our age..... anyway
So I have to stop deluding myself and move on. I have to cut him out of my life completely and accept that being friends with him is just not possible, no matter how much I want him in my life. Its time to let go.
Dating Ice Cream man, lets call him P ( we have had 6 dates so far) has been an eye opener. This man calls, texts, makes plans with me and talks about doing things with me. This is what a secure, well balanced man is like!! who knew they existed!! P wants to take it to a different level, moving it up a notch and not just chaste dates and chaste kisses on the cheeks as a greeting, which is how things should naturally progress. I held back with P as I thought A would compromise and actually make a commitment (yes I know I am a fool) but as I have ended things (finally) with A, I am free to date, touch, kiss, make love to any man I want now without feeling like I was cheating on A.
The future without A (there never actually was a future with him was there?) doesnt seem so bleak, I know now that there are men that can make me a priority in their lives. Even if things do not progress with P, I know that there are normal decent well balanced men out there.
bring on 2014, a new beginning........
What an idiot!
I realised I couldn't do that, because I wanted a full on relationship with one man, one man to love and one man to do things with. I wanted that man to be one man. you cant separate the two. It doesnt work that way. There has been some back and forth with A these past few weeks, He wants it to be simple and uncomplicated without the restraints of a relationship aka friends with benefits, and I want a full on relationship. He doesn't want a girlfriend (and he used the line "its not you, its me") and I want a boyfriend. Can we call each other that? boyfriend and girlfriend at our age..... anyway
So I have to stop deluding myself and move on. I have to cut him out of my life completely and accept that being friends with him is just not possible, no matter how much I want him in my life. Its time to let go.
Dating Ice Cream man, lets call him P ( we have had 6 dates so far) has been an eye opener. This man calls, texts, makes plans with me and talks about doing things with me. This is what a secure, well balanced man is like!! who knew they existed!! P wants to take it to a different level, moving it up a notch and not just chaste dates and chaste kisses on the cheeks as a greeting, which is how things should naturally progress. I held back with P as I thought A would compromise and actually make a commitment (yes I know I am a fool) but as I have ended things (finally) with A, I am free to date, touch, kiss, make love to any man I want now without feeling like I was cheating on A.
The future without A (there never actually was a future with him was there?) doesnt seem so bleak, I know now that there are men that can make me a priority in their lives. Even if things do not progress with P, I know that there are normal decent well balanced men out there.
bring on 2014, a new beginning........
Thursday, 12 December 2013
Its about Race, its about looking past the Race......
I considered very carefully before I started this post, whether I wanted to write about it or not. I have, in older posts, written about race and what it is like being a minority in my own country.
I also questioned whether I take it too seriously. Am I becoming more aware or am I becoming too sensitive to the little barbs about race. One friend commented about one of my posts regarding sexual abuse "your kind of people do it" Wake up people, its not a race thing. there are bad hats everywhere, that sort of thing happens regardless of race. But I digress.......
Last Sunday we had riots. That hasn't happened in Singapore since 1969. So its been awhile. A whole generation grew up thinking that riots and strikes happened everywhere else but here. (A year or so ago we had a strike see older post )
We import our labour, all the construction workers, cleaners, lowly paid jobs are taken up by a majority of foreign labour. We have people from Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, Myanmar, Thailand, China and Vietnam who labour hard to build and maintain our roads, buildings and estates. They work 6 days a week and have Sundays off to rest. They congregate in little enclaves around Singapore to rest, relax and just hang out with friends. Food and alcohol make up a big part of their Sunday get togethers. when you put tired, lonely frustrated men together with alcohol, you will invariably get trouble. What happened last Sunday occurred in Little India where the majority of the Indian workers get together. Read reports here on the whole incident. An unfortunate accident which resulted in the tragic death of an individual was the spark that started a riot.
It is not the race of the person that matters, it is not the Race or the caste ( as one comment suggested) of the individuals who rioted that matters. It is however the fact that they took an opportunity to react in a violent manner that we need to address. We need to ask why, and how we can prevent it from happening again. As it is we house them in dorms, some are crowded, dirty and I am sure a violation to human rights, and they work extremely hard, yet we treat them like sub humans. Some of the dorms remind me of concentration camps. There have been more cases of the workers being abused by their Singaporean bosses, then the other way around.
I am not shocked by the fact that the riots happened, I am shocked at the way my fellow citizens have reacted. Online vitriol has escalated and on every blog post comments you can read about hatred and racism towards the Indian nationals, that I cringe to admit that I am Singaporean. There are plenty of Singaporeans that have reacted positively but it is the bad apples in the bunch that give everybody a bad name, whether you are a foreign worker here or a citizen.
I would like to remind my fellow Singaporeans about our pledge that we grew up reciting.
The National Pledge
We, the Citizens of Singapore
Pledge ourselves as one united people
regardless of race, language or religion
to build a democratic society based on justice and equality
so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and progress for our nation
Can we not see that this pledge should be incorporated into our thinking when we deal with all that imported labour that has helped build our nation? Can we not see that we should remember this pledge when we interact with our fellow citizens?
I also questioned whether I take it too seriously. Am I becoming more aware or am I becoming too sensitive to the little barbs about race. One friend commented about one of my posts regarding sexual abuse "your kind of people do it" Wake up people, its not a race thing. there are bad hats everywhere, that sort of thing happens regardless of race. But I digress.......
Last Sunday we had riots. That hasn't happened in Singapore since 1969. So its been awhile. A whole generation grew up thinking that riots and strikes happened everywhere else but here. (A year or so ago we had a strike see older post )
We import our labour, all the construction workers, cleaners, lowly paid jobs are taken up by a majority of foreign labour. We have people from Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, Myanmar, Thailand, China and Vietnam who labour hard to build and maintain our roads, buildings and estates. They work 6 days a week and have Sundays off to rest. They congregate in little enclaves around Singapore to rest, relax and just hang out with friends. Food and alcohol make up a big part of their Sunday get togethers. when you put tired, lonely frustrated men together with alcohol, you will invariably get trouble. What happened last Sunday occurred in Little India where the majority of the Indian workers get together. Read reports here on the whole incident. An unfortunate accident which resulted in the tragic death of an individual was the spark that started a riot.
It is not the race of the person that matters, it is not the Race or the caste ( as one comment suggested) of the individuals who rioted that matters. It is however the fact that they took an opportunity to react in a violent manner that we need to address. We need to ask why, and how we can prevent it from happening again. As it is we house them in dorms, some are crowded, dirty and I am sure a violation to human rights, and they work extremely hard, yet we treat them like sub humans. Some of the dorms remind me of concentration camps. There have been more cases of the workers being abused by their Singaporean bosses, then the other way around.
I am not shocked by the fact that the riots happened, I am shocked at the way my fellow citizens have reacted. Online vitriol has escalated and on every blog post comments you can read about hatred and racism towards the Indian nationals, that I cringe to admit that I am Singaporean. There are plenty of Singaporeans that have reacted positively but it is the bad apples in the bunch that give everybody a bad name, whether you are a foreign worker here or a citizen.
I would like to remind my fellow Singaporeans about our pledge that we grew up reciting.
The National Pledge
We, the Citizens of Singapore
Pledge ourselves as one united people
regardless of race, language or religion
to build a democratic society based on justice and equality
so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and progress for our nation
Can we not see that this pledge should be incorporated into our thinking when we deal with all that imported labour that has helped build our nation? Can we not see that we should remember this pledge when we interact with our fellow citizens?
Tuesday, 3 December 2013
the unmade bed
I never saw the point of having to make my bed every morning, to fold the blankets and put them under our pillows (in the 70's we didn't really use air-conditioning and only had a ceiling fan whirring away at night so blankets were thin sheets that had to be folded up and tucked out of sight after use) and cover our beds with beautifully embroidered bed spreads.
Mum made us do that. Every bloody morning. I never saw the point of making my bed, then messing it up again each night. it was a futile exercise. Once I got divorced (ex mother in law insisted on made beds too) I stopped making my bed and have never yelled/cajoled or nagged the boys about their unmade beds. I don't mind crumpled sheets and covers, it makes it all so inviting in a way. a made bed looks too pristine to mess up, it looks uncomfortable! Comfort to me is messy and things I can cuddle. It looks sensual and slovenly in a way.
Then I went and got this lovely white bed set, all pretty and white and
embroidered with tiny blue flowers...... now, I am not a girly girl but this lot of sheets and covers made me make my bed. It somehow looked odd while messed up.........
I still dont make the bed everyday but when the white sheets are on, the bed gets made........
another lesson on never say never...........
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| through the looking glass |
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| the embroidery |
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| attempt at a made bed |
I still dont make the bed everyday but when the white sheets are on, the bed gets made........
another lesson on never say never...........
Saturday, 30 November 2013
the nostalgia bug is biting......
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| old style bungalow in S'goon Gdns |
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| corner of chartwell drive ...i think |
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| corner of Farleigh Ave 2013 |
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| corner of chartwell 2013 |
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| the old dry cleaners, sandwiched |
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| the old cinema |
Cooling Close was where my granddad bought his house in the 1950's and when grandad went to live in Australia in the late 1980's, he sold that house to his oldest son. My mums brother still lives there. My primary school is 10 steps away from that house and it joins a church (St Francis Xavier's Church) which runs along the side of the houses on Cooling Close. At the end of the Church is Chartwell Drive and the house I grew up in. So walking to school every morning we went through the church to reach school in 5 minutes. We grew up in a safe, close knit community. We wandered around to the shops, the park and each others houses daily and mum never had to worry about us. If we scrapped our knees in the park, we would head to Granddad's place and he would take get out his mentholated spirit and dab our knees, sometimes it was iodine solution. It fucking stung!
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| where the old cinema used to be |
Recently our Urban Redevelopment Authority (URA) identified my old estate as an identity node. which means they will preserve its quaint charm.......they fucking ruined it already so whats there left to preserve??
The shops havent gone double storied, they remain as walk ups even if they have destroyed the open door homely feeling.
Serangoon Gardens is one of the few places left in Singapore with a roundabout and not traffic lights at an intersection. We called it the circle. There was talk that they were going to remove the roundabout and put in the traffic lights but thank god someone somewhere vetoed that idea.
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| 1963 picture of the roundabout..there was an old tree here too and a massive drain on the right |
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| 2013 picture of that same roundabout and area with covered drain |
They chopped down most of all the old trees, massive Angsana trees, that gave shade in a concrete jungle and put in spindly palms. They paved and made roads bigger as singaporeans drive everywhere even down the road to get a bite to eat. They covered drains (yeah I know its a good thing) and the new generation of kids will never know what it would be like to crawl in drains along the roads, actually using an imagination to play hide and seek and war games.
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| the old tree was here, and an old taxi shed....... |
I found a whole new world in an old second hand bookshop, at the end of the row of shops where the cinema stood, I bought stupid teen magazines with David Cassidy on the cover from the old shop called Garden Book Shop. I moved to Farleigh Ave (with the ex) for a few years as my boys went to one of the old neighbourhood schools ( no longer there now)
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| Captains cabin, Dads local pub, long gone....... |
So this estate has a very special place in my heart. Nostalgia is a bitch, we hanker for the old days and old ways forgetting that not everything was as rosy as our memories think they were. I seek the balance I guess, to preserve the old but still making way for the new.........
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| row of shops where captains cabin once stood |
Friday, 22 November 2013
Celebrating the heritage
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| semolina cookies |
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| savoury bites |
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| family with sparklers |
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| cornflake cookies |
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| My niece with her henna |
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| Lots of hanging colourful decorations |
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| colourful clothes galore |
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| the street in little india |
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| buying sweet |
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| The garland makers |
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There is always a market in the area called Little India where people can go buy ornaments, candle holders and all sorts of bright colourful things to make the home brighter. Fresh flowers, an amazing array of bright new clothes and henna. .jpg) |
| getting Hennaed |
Tuesday, 19 November 2013
i am my own worst enemy
So date no 3 happened and again it was a good date. We sat by the bay, had wine, chatted and took some night shots with my new camera. However, Ice cream man is new to Singapore and he wants to see a bit of Asia while he is working here. He wants to go away to one of the little islands off Malaysia's coast for a weekend. and he asked me to go with him.
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| night view of the bay |
Up to this point all the dates have been nice and friendly and we haven't kissed at all so him taking the direction of a weekend away made me think all he wanted was to go away to have sex.
He didn't. We cleared it up over emails, he understood that it was a big step to go away with someone, and while he did think I was sexy and adorable and did want to ravish me (his words) he was not ready for a commitment just yet as I was his first date off the website and his first date in 12 years. So from panic mode I switched to "here we go again, another man wanting to keep options open" but I realised he was right, we do need to date other people, and going away could be platonic. Couldn't it?
the big question I need to ask is why did I panic when I thought he wanted sex? The thought of another man touching me kind of freaked me out, because I am not over A. Do I continue to date or do I get over A first? Which is proving hard to do as A and I are 'friends' and we are still in contact. For me to move on I need to cut A out of my life completely which I cant do because a life without him is something I cant imagine. Even if he just was my friend. But being friends with A leaves me wanting more from him.....
On the other hand, do I take what little A offers, sex and intimacy according to his rules, and find companions like Ice cream man to fulfil the other parts. that way I get a bit of A and still have companions to travel and go out with.
The way I see it, I am not normal, and doubt I ever will be normal where relationships are concerned. I want the freedom to have my own life yet I want that special someone to be mine and do things with me which will include sex. I don't want the normal domestic routine but I crave the normal companionship. All I want is A to be that person but if I cant have him for the whole of the not so normal relationship will I be happy having him for one small part of it? My head is a screwed up place!
Now you see why I am my own worst enemy...............
Sunday, 17 November 2013
its been an interesting week...
This last week has been quite interesting
It started off with me being quite active on the dating website and it has given me a few good options and a few strange ones. The scammers, or as I like to call them , the assholes with nothing better to do except try to delude middle aged women, are still ever present. They bombard you with emails of how wonderful they are and how they will make your (or me in this case) life so much better by loving you to death in a stranglehold of love.
With my cynical and jaded outlook at life and love, I tend to stay away from men that declare their love for me after reading 10 lines on my profile. Seriously!! Do women fall for that? Seems that some do, and I learnt recently that men too fall for young exotic women on line. Dont ask me why I never thought that men too get scammed.....you learn something new everyday.
But like I said, there have been the good ones too and I had one such date last Sunday afternoon. We met for ice cream (I already knew I would like him when he suggested an ice cream date!) and spent 3 hours talking about everything. It was a very nice and interesting date, I haven't had one of those since A's and Mr NZ's first dates, which was like in 2007! But to be fair, I was involved with one than the other since.
Having had my Cosmetic maintenance (thank you Vesta for coining the term) done on Monday didn't stop me going out even if I did have bits of scab on my face and neck. I first met Mr NZ for a late breakfast on Tuesday for a nice chat and catch up session, with some flirting. Yesterday I met Ice cream man for date no 2, lunch at a local restaurant and that too went well enough to stretch it to tea and cake. I was hoping the scabs would have fallen off by now, but they still clung stubbornly to my face but I thought lets see if it frightens him off. He did not run screaming. Date no 3 with Ice cream man will be tonight.
And as for my new job, I start in January so have 6 weeks to still enjoy my 'freedom' before I knuckle down and put nose to grindstone.
so its been a fairly interesting and exciting week.......... now all I need is to keep having positive thoughts and not feel as if I am cheating on A........
It started off with me being quite active on the dating website and it has given me a few good options and a few strange ones. The scammers, or as I like to call them , the assholes with nothing better to do except try to delude middle aged women, are still ever present. They bombard you with emails of how wonderful they are and how they will make your (or me in this case) life so much better by loving you to death in a stranglehold of love.
With my cynical and jaded outlook at life and love, I tend to stay away from men that declare their love for me after reading 10 lines on my profile. Seriously!! Do women fall for that? Seems that some do, and I learnt recently that men too fall for young exotic women on line. Dont ask me why I never thought that men too get scammed.....you learn something new everyday.
But like I said, there have been the good ones too and I had one such date last Sunday afternoon. We met for ice cream (I already knew I would like him when he suggested an ice cream date!) and spent 3 hours talking about everything. It was a very nice and interesting date, I haven't had one of those since A's and Mr NZ's first dates, which was like in 2007! But to be fair, I was involved with one than the other since.
Having had my Cosmetic maintenance (thank you Vesta for coining the term) done on Monday didn't stop me going out even if I did have bits of scab on my face and neck. I first met Mr NZ for a late breakfast on Tuesday for a nice chat and catch up session, with some flirting. Yesterday I met Ice cream man for date no 2, lunch at a local restaurant and that too went well enough to stretch it to tea and cake. I was hoping the scabs would have fallen off by now, but they still clung stubbornly to my face but I thought lets see if it frightens him off. He did not run screaming. Date no 3 with Ice cream man will be tonight.
And as for my new job, I start in January so have 6 weeks to still enjoy my 'freedom' before I knuckle down and put nose to grindstone.
so its been a fairly interesting and exciting week.......... now all I need is to keep having positive thoughts and not feel as if I am cheating on A........
Thursday, 14 November 2013
emotionally unavailable.....
I think I am getting wiser, I seem to be able to look back at my life and see clearly some things that have shaped me and the choices I have made.
I remember being aware that men liked looking at me, I developed breasts by the time I was 11 or so and became very quickly aware that not all men had good intentions and that some men would take advantage.
Having your Dads friend put his hands down your shirt to feel your "heartbeat", quickly makes a young girl aware that all men are not like Granddad who's hugs made you feel safe.....I was 11 by the way.
My ex is about 7 years older than I am, and he was "courting" me from the time I was 13. Hindsight again, if only I had told someone........
I stayed in a marriage fraught with emotional and physical abuse because I thought I had no choice. I made the decision to marry this man, against my family's wishes and I thought I deserved the punishment. No woman does. I don't have nightmares anymore, about the beatings, the torture, the curses and the mental anguish. There were some years when there was no physical abuse, but he made up for that with the emotional abuse. I was always afraid of doing the wrong thing, in the end I became apathetic, weak, with no opinion what so ever ( my opinions always got me a slap).
Its taken me alot of years to move on and it has left several scars, some of which are that I don't trust easily, I am wary of anything that is too good to be true (even to the point of ruining a relationship with my ever constant fear of the unknown) and that I thought that all men think with their dicks.
I am not a man hater, far from it. I love men, but I seem to look for emotionally unavailable men because that is what I was. With this getting older and wiser thing I wonder, as I now can identify what I was doing wrong, will I be able to seek men who want to treat me right and not feel like its an alien encounter? Will I be able to open my heart and seek out the men who are balanced enough to give me space and want to be with me?
I sure hope so as being emotionally unavailable is fucking tiring!
I remember being aware that men liked looking at me, I developed breasts by the time I was 11 or so and became very quickly aware that not all men had good intentions and that some men would take advantage.
Having your Dads friend put his hands down your shirt to feel your "heartbeat", quickly makes a young girl aware that all men are not like Granddad who's hugs made you feel safe.....I was 11 by the way.
My ex is about 7 years older than I am, and he was "courting" me from the time I was 13. Hindsight again, if only I had told someone........
I stayed in a marriage fraught with emotional and physical abuse because I thought I had no choice. I made the decision to marry this man, against my family's wishes and I thought I deserved the punishment. No woman does. I don't have nightmares anymore, about the beatings, the torture, the curses and the mental anguish. There were some years when there was no physical abuse, but he made up for that with the emotional abuse. I was always afraid of doing the wrong thing, in the end I became apathetic, weak, with no opinion what so ever ( my opinions always got me a slap).
Its taken me alot of years to move on and it has left several scars, some of which are that I don't trust easily, I am wary of anything that is too good to be true (even to the point of ruining a relationship with my ever constant fear of the unknown) and that I thought that all men think with their dicks.
I am not a man hater, far from it. I love men, but I seem to look for emotionally unavailable men because that is what I was. With this getting older and wiser thing I wonder, as I now can identify what I was doing wrong, will I be able to seek men who want to treat me right and not feel like its an alien encounter? Will I be able to open my heart and seek out the men who are balanced enough to give me space and want to be with me?
I sure hope so as being emotionally unavailable is fucking tiring!
Sunday, 10 November 2013
vanity thy name is woman
Would you go under the knife for vanity's sake?
I never thought I would.
Well technically I am not going under the knife or even injecting poison into my face to get that surprised and frozen expression but I am going to laser some things off my face and neck.
I have a few spots on my face/neck and there's this one big spot under my eye and it looks like a tear and frankly I don't want those spots ( they have been diagnosed as Seborrheic Warts ) and its all part of ageing and those fucking spots and skin tags bother me. They tell me that I am getting old, they tell me that I am vain no matter what I said decades ago about ageing gracefully!
So I went to see the skin doctor, who told me I could laser them off but they would return, to which I replied, well than I will be back to see you as long as I can afford it! I couldnt use any insurance for the costs as it was a cosmetic procedure................which is when it hit me,
Jeez...... I was doing something cosmetic! I was altering my appearance (well parts of the appearance) to make myself look better. Part of me hates that I have been found out as a liar ( I wanted to age gracefully and embrace getting older......no dying of hair, no doing anything to keep ageing away....said by a 20 year old me!!) and a vain liar at that. but part of me (that voice in my head named Simone, my alter ego) says that its actually a clean up of the appearance rather than an alteration, which makes me feel better.
So Monday afternoon I will be lying in the doctors office having a few bits of me lasered off. Will I post pictures (NO, too vain for that) but I will probably moan about the pain and if it leaves scars will just die and hide away forever!! ( drama queen Simone's voice)
I never thought I would.
Well technically I am not going under the knife or even injecting poison into my face to get that surprised and frozen expression but I am going to laser some things off my face and neck.
I have a few spots on my face/neck and there's this one big spot under my eye and it looks like a tear and frankly I don't want those spots ( they have been diagnosed as Seborrheic Warts ) and its all part of ageing and those fucking spots and skin tags bother me. They tell me that I am getting old, they tell me that I am vain no matter what I said decades ago about ageing gracefully!
So I went to see the skin doctor, who told me I could laser them off but they would return, to which I replied, well than I will be back to see you as long as I can afford it! I couldnt use any insurance for the costs as it was a cosmetic procedure................which is when it hit me,
Jeez...... I was doing something cosmetic! I was altering my appearance (well parts of the appearance) to make myself look better. Part of me hates that I have been found out as a liar ( I wanted to age gracefully and embrace getting older......no dying of hair, no doing anything to keep ageing away....said by a 20 year old me!!) and a vain liar at that. but part of me (that voice in my head named Simone, my alter ego) says that its actually a clean up of the appearance rather than an alteration, which makes me feel better.
So Monday afternoon I will be lying in the doctors office having a few bits of me lasered off. Will I post pictures (NO, too vain for that) but I will probably moan about the pain and if it leaves scars will just die and hide away forever!! ( drama queen Simone's voice)
Wednesday, 6 November 2013
The interview
So I went for an interview yesterday.
I think I applied for at least 20 jobs minimum and only two replied with a rejection but thank you for applying email. I looked at a few options in different industries doing admin work but somehow the only people who wanted to meet with me was another event company.
I went for the interview with mixed feelings, I knew I had to find a job, but did I want to go back to working in events. It was just an interview I thought, go and see how things turn out I thought.
Once I was in there talking about what I have achieved professionally, I realized I did miss it, I did want to go back into the events industry, it was foolish to think I could ever leave it!
As for my dream of the motel or b&b, well that will have to wait till the twin is ready to work with me......
Oh did I mention I got the job.......
I think I applied for at least 20 jobs minimum and only two replied with a rejection but thank you for applying email. I looked at a few options in different industries doing admin work but somehow the only people who wanted to meet with me was another event company.
I went for the interview with mixed feelings, I knew I had to find a job, but did I want to go back to working in events. It was just an interview I thought, go and see how things turn out I thought.
Once I was in there talking about what I have achieved professionally, I realized I did miss it, I did want to go back into the events industry, it was foolish to think I could ever leave it!
As for my dream of the motel or b&b, well that will have to wait till the twin is ready to work with me......
Oh did I mention I got the job.......
Friday, 1 November 2013
let the games begin
After careful consideration (careful consideration being me at the computer after 2 glasses of Vodka and tonic) and countless hours of research on how to write a dating profile without coming across as desperate, I decided to ditch the idea of a dating coach and just try to incorporate all that I had learned off the magical highway of knowledge, and create a profile.
I decided to go back to one of the sites where I had first met A and Mr NZ, I did after all like those two men, and to my surprise, the website had cleaned up its act a bit and looked much better.
Most of these dating advice columns tell you to write a profile as if you were talking to a friend and not make a list of all your likes and dislikes. So I went with that, and kept it simple and short. My profile has been up for a week and like fresh meat, it attracts all the attention. Some unwanted and mostly from scammers but hey at least there is some action......right?
It's been fun to say the least, to read some of the ridiculous things they say, like one telling me his favorite movies are Miss congeniality and sleeping beauty and his favorite tv shows are Friends and sex in the city! Seriously!!
He either has really bad taste in movies, is gay and doesn't know it or just an idiot to think that I would actually believe that.
I intend to stick this one out for a few months and see what else the website throws at me, I might even go meet Mr congeniality if he really exists. Time to flirt, flaunt and try to attract a man.......
so let the games begin.............
I decided to go back to one of the sites where I had first met A and Mr NZ, I did after all like those two men, and to my surprise, the website had cleaned up its act a bit and looked much better.
Most of these dating advice columns tell you to write a profile as if you were talking to a friend and not make a list of all your likes and dislikes. So I went with that, and kept it simple and short. My profile has been up for a week and like fresh meat, it attracts all the attention. Some unwanted and mostly from scammers but hey at least there is some action......right?
It's been fun to say the least, to read some of the ridiculous things they say, like one telling me his favorite movies are Miss congeniality and sleeping beauty and his favorite tv shows are Friends and sex in the city! Seriously!!
He either has really bad taste in movies, is gay and doesn't know it or just an idiot to think that I would actually believe that.
I intend to stick this one out for a few months and see what else the website throws at me, I might even go meet Mr congeniality if he really exists. Time to flirt, flaunt and try to attract a man.......
so let the games begin.............
Saturday, 26 October 2013
how to write an online dating profile?
Simple enough I suppose, but no, its harder than you think.
For those of you fortunate enough to have that significant other in your life this is something you wont have to bother with. But for us single and perhaps desperate ones out there, the profile you write will determine whether men will take notice or just delete. The competition is fierce, and all you have is this one page with some witty words (or not) and a few pictures to capture a mans attention. How to make that first glance count, how to make a man sit up and take notice.
So I did some research on the dating coaches out there that can help you post a good profile. There are programmes out there that can help women like me to navigate this online dating world with ease. Its an investment in yourself (these things cost money) and I figured I was a good investment. I also researched the right websites, OKCupid was out, thats just a hook up site, which I learnt the hard way, and match.com was fast becoming the same. Was there one for older people, people who werent 24 and bouncy? Did I really want to do this (again)?
Getting my mind ready to take this plunge hasnt been easy and I have taken my time to wrap my head around dating again. I know it will take time, I know it will take more than just a great profile on a dating website. It will take commitment, a good sense of humour (when the dates and men are bad) and it will take perseverance.
One thing I have never lacked is tenacity and wanting to get things right...........so yes I am ready to find a dating coach and get that brilliant profile posted.
If nothing else comes of it....at least I will have something to write about....
Tuesday, 22 October 2013
mama's got a brand new toy (another one)
I have been frustrated with my old camera for a long time. Its just one of those point and shoot cameras, the type that my dad used to call idiot proof cameras.
I bought that in 2008 and its been wonderful and while I did start off by using the auto mode on it, I gradually moved on to fiddling with the manual controls and even got a tutorial from A.
But those little handy cameras have their limitations so for some time now I have been itching to get myself a good digital camera. I am not in the professional photographer class but I like taking pictures and I do seem to have an eye for composing a picture. So I flipped the papers daily to see if any specials were about and finally I saw two places advertising the camera I wanted. It came with 2 lens, loads of freebies and I am like a kid with a brand new toy.
So while I am still unemployed and free, I have a new toy to play with.............
I bought that in 2008 and its been wonderful and while I did start off by using the auto mode on it, I gradually moved on to fiddling with the manual controls and even got a tutorial from A.
But those little handy cameras have their limitations so for some time now I have been itching to get myself a good digital camera. I am not in the professional photographer class but I like taking pictures and I do seem to have an eye for composing a picture. So I flipped the papers daily to see if any specials were about and finally I saw two places advertising the camera I wanted. It came with 2 lens, loads of freebies and I am like a kid with a brand new toy.
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| Nikon D3200 |
So while I am still unemployed and free, I have a new toy to play with.............
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