Wednesday 29 February 2012

labels

google images
We all want to belong to something, so we stick a label on it and it makes us happy.  From labels like baby boomers, Gen X or Y or in the 80's it was the yuppies and metrosexual in the 90's.  Its all Labels, labels we put on ourselves to give us a sense of belonging.
Even in our relationships we need to stick labels on the type of relationship from love affair, friend with benefit or just plain relationship.  How is one different from the other?  How do we separate the distinctions between all the classifications and labels of a relationship??  Why do we need to stick labels in the first place.
I do chafe at the restrictions that labels place on us but I still sometimes feel safe and comfortable within the confines of that label, like  the labels that I place on myself,  domestic goddess, or mutton dressed as lamb, or middle aged rock chick.  I was asked recently "why can't you just do, why do you need to label it"  Why indeed.  Why do I need to know if this attempt of a relationship is a love affair? It actually has a label all unto itself, one which I am totally confused about and have no idea what to call it.  Why do I need to call it something?  To make it real perhaps, or to make me feel like I belong to something and someone........

Sunday 26 February 2012

in need of a handyman

I am a little handy in the house, I can change a light bulb, screw in a loose screw, paint the home and even do minor repair work for the toilets. I cant however operate an electric drill or change a shower head.  I think that I  probably would be able to learn how to do those things  if I had the time but because of the lack of said time I have to search far and wide for a handy man.
image from google
They aren't easy to find, these handymen.
I usually wait till I have a few minor repairs to do before I call one, and yes that includes changing some light bulbs!  I figure that if they were there might as well get them to do everything!
This time wasn't any different, I had a light switch that needed changing, curtain rails that needed re positioning and of course the major problem was a noise or rather a consistent humming in the pipes in the bathrooms, and a leaky shower.  I called our town council (the people that look after the building) and I was told that I couldn't have anyone come on a Saturday to look at it as the plumber preferred to come see the pipes on a week day!
I was given a hotline number though for after office hours, for the plumber or other matters for our building, and I called them  and they said a man would come around that night to check out the noise and the pipes.  It took him all of 3 minutes to listen to me prattle on about the noise and vibrations in my taps and he declared that it wasn't the buildings  problem and I had to call my own plumber.
I already had an appointment for Saturday for the handyman to come check it out.  I had made it a week earlier but he  missed the first appointment and I had to wait another week.  He finally turned up an hour late, and listened and checked and 10 minutes later said that he didn't have the parts and he would have to come back next Saturday.
So its been 3 weeks of me going back and forth making appointments, taking strange men through my bedroom and bathrooms and I still haven't had the pipes and leaky showers fixed.
I will wait again till the coming Saturday for the elusive handyman, and hopefully this time he will indeed live up to his name.

Wednesday 15 February 2012

flirting

We all do it.  young and old. We flirt because it is fun.  it is interesting.  it makes life enjoyable.

I don't know about the rest, but I flirt generally because a person of the opposite sex thinks I am interesting and attractive enough to warrant a little attention.  there is that magic word.....attention.
Women generally crave a little attention and recognition that we look good and someone appreciates it.  It puts a little spring in our step.  It doesn't go beyond the few minutes of harmless banter.

I do not flirt much as I am too reserved and actually quite clueless about whether men are even looking at me.  But once in a while I enjoy a little flirting.... Like the bunch of young men that I buy my lunch from most days.  Its an old coffee shop close to the office and they never fail to bring a smile to my face with their gentle teasing.
My sister in Australia is a master at flirting. I like watching her flirt.  Its quite an art actually and she has always been good with people so she knows how to draw them out and before they know it she is teasing and flirting with them. I can already imagine her when we will be in Europe at the end of this year, flirting with every french and italian man we meet!  It will be interesting for sure. 
So for now I will enjoy my regular coffee shop flirting and perhaps when in Europe will learn from the master.

Tuesday 14 February 2012

valentine's day

I am not the sort that 'celebrates' valentines day.  I think it is a waste of time and money.  Romantic candlelight dinners that cost the earth, florists that admit that on valentine's day is the day when they actually make their profits for the year!!  What a total waste.  More often than not the poor men have to fork out all that money to please a very demanding woman.  Why!?
How can it be a declaration of love when it is only for a day?   The die hard followers of V day will say that perhaps men do need a day to declare their love because usually they dont bother.  So,  force the suckers to go out one day at least and get the girl a bunch of roses.
Is Romance dead?  There is one couple that I know that defy everything I know about romance and men.  My older sister and her husband.  He will bring her flowers often and he doesnt wait for valentines day.  He always does something special for their anniversary and her birthday.   They arent perfect but the absolute love they share always makes me believe that yes, love can be forever and romance is not dead.
I dont think I would be comfortable if the man in my life would constantly declare that he adores me, but once in a while a bunch of flowers would be nice.  I dont expect it, and definitely not on Valentine's day, but sometimes ......
As women we need some attention, its like a flower, if you dont nurture and water it, it dies. A little attention goes a long way.  So even if you think that Valentine's day is crass commercialism at its best, tell the woman in your life that you are thinking of her.

Monday 13 February 2012

restless

Ever so often I get restless.  I get the feeling of being caged in.  thats when I do stupid things like quit my job. 
Its dangerous because at 49+++ years old no one is going to hire me, Its dangerous because I still have a mortgage to pay and its dangerous because I have mouths to feed.
Staying in this job is the right thing to do, but the feeling of being caged and tied to something I dont like to do just because I have to is eating my insides.Thats is why I need to be my own boss, because my pride, ego and totally wrong ideas about what is right and wrong are always in contest with the powers that be.  If I was my own boss I could set my own policies and I can be the one that is right even if I was wrong!
I hate this restless feeling, it lasts for a few days usually.  Mondays are usually when I quit my job then regret it.  so this time i am going to wait a week and If I feel the same way on Friday, then I will quit and then panic and wonder how the hell i am going to pay the mortgage and feed myself and the son!

Saturday 11 February 2012

one fragile life

thats all we get, one chance to make the most of our life.  its fragile and can be taken away very quickly.
We forget that our bodies are just flesh and bones and it can be broken and life taken away at the blink of an eye.
so dont wait to tell that person how you feel about them
dont wait to tell your brothers and sisters that you love them
dont wait to tell your children everything about where they came from
dont wait to find your happiness
dont wait to make your heart happy

Life's too short.  Dont wait to live it

Friday 3 February 2012

what our mothers should have told us

My sisters and I never had that chat with our mother.  We found out about the birds and the bees through school ( those infamous videos of why we bleed every month) and even then it was never very thorough and it didn't address the sexuality aspect of it.
It was only the bare facts that "this is what happened to women and stop asking why".  We found out by ourselves how babies were made and how babies came out (i have had 2 kids and I still wonder how the hell a baby can come out of "there").  Sex was never discussed and as sisters we didn't talk to each other about what was happening in our exploration of the same.  So here is my list of things that I wish my mother had told us.

1.  Sex is not a dirty word, and what you do behind closed doors with your partner is up to you.  There is no right or wrong.
2.  Don't sleep with every man you date (and no i did not do that!)  and don't marry the first man you sleep with (that I did!)
3.  Sex without feeling something for your  partner,  is empty.
4.  Sex when you are twenty is different to sex in your 40's.  It gets better!!
5.  Your Body will change as you get older, and when you have kids it does change alot!!
6.  You will not have that rush of maternal instinct when you give birth, you probably don't want to look at that crying weird looking thing that the nurses insist on putting on your breast!
7.  Marriage is hard work.  it takes two to make it work, it also takes compromise, willingness to change and a damn good sex life
8.  Your pubes will turn white too, just like the hair on your eyebrows will too
9.  You have no idea who you are until after 35
10.  It is not the end of the world if you don't have a boyfriend/husband all the time with you.  Being alone is not scary
11.  Menopause is real!  it happens to all of us, and it starts with your eyesight.
12.  Menopause makes women cranky, bloated, suddenly have a beer belly, forgetful and have hot flushes,  there is no cure for it but you can manage it. 
13.  Crying is good for you, but do it with a friend
14.  Trim your pubes or better still wax and do it often!
15.  Know your own body, if you don't,  how on earth do you expect a man to
16.  Masturbation is good for u!
17.  BOB - is short for battery operated buddy - buy one!
18.  Buy lingerie for your man and remember they don't care about the wobbly bits
19.  You do not always end up like your mother




this post will be updated as I gain new insights each day

Wednesday 1 February 2012

letter to my sons

I count my blessings daily just because I have the two of you.  Its never been about being perfect as you both know I am not.  Its about being who I am.  I thank you both for letting me be me.
I count the two of you as my best friends as well, not just my sons, but of course there is a time and place for me being mum and me being your friend.  You will still get the "look" if you misbehave!

I wish for you to
be good responsible men
be good to old people, animals and the less fortunate
be loving and caring to those you love
dream and don't forget your dreams
choose your partner wisely as they will be the ones who will dream with you
Live your life as you want and not what someone else expects it to be
be confident and stand firm in your convictions
and lastly.........Please clean your room!

looking forward to Paris

Its only February and I cant wait for Paris...   The way I want to spend my half a century on this planet is to travel to the three cities I have always wanted to visit.  Paris, Rome and Florence. 
Planning began with an itinerary, what I want to see and do then the costs for travel and accommodation.   yes there is a spreadsheet!  
My sister in Australia hopefully will be going with me to celebrate this 50th year.  She is actually my cousin but she grew up with us and I don't see the difference whether sister or cousin.  As we both were born in the same year, and to confuse alot of people, we call each other twin.
Anyway we wanted to do something different so its Paris, Rome and Florence.  4 weeks of travel in the 3 cities,  I am all excited.
We have narrowed down the when to end October and November, the where is settled but we may include another city.  Its not going to be a tour with alot of other people, its just going to be us travelling at a leisurely pace and lingering in museums, walking and taking pictures and standing in awe of all the history and romance of the cities.  It will be autumn which is good as we both like the cold, and we are hoping that the crowds will be less at the Louvre and all the other museums we want to go to.  well one can hope...
One of the reasons I wanted to learn how to drive was so that my sister and I could hire a car in Florence and explore the Tuscan countryside by driving, as I still haven't learnt it may be too ambitious of us with only one driver.  Unless  my other sister joins us for that part of the trip..... so that's still a what if scenario.
The planning, the whole thought of being in Paris, Rome and Florence is just one big excitement for me.  I have a list for everything, from the places we must see, to the food we must try to the type of transport we will be using to the packing list! I don't know if the planning is more exciting for me or the trip itself!
All I know is that I am soooo looking forward to Paris and Rome and Florence and my 4 weeks or more away