Saturday 31 March 2012

saturday mornings

I don't get to relax and sleep in on a Saturday, even though I am one of the lucky few that works a five day week.  The weekend isn't about relaxing and recharging, its frantic rushing around on errands on Saturday and cleaning and laundry on Sunday.
This morning was no different, I was up early even though I heard the rain through the windows and thought that this would have been a perfect day for a lie in.  But no, I was out of the house by 8am doing my usual month end visit to pay the mortgage ( I will not go into the whole, why cant I do it online thing) and off to the supermarket.  The good thing was that the supermarket at such an early hour was empty, well almost and there were no queue's at the checkouts.  But there were still people about.
I could wait for the son to go to the supermarket with me, as carrying 5 heavy bags back is no mean feat and as I don't own a car and  live so close to the mall, I  rely on the buses to carry me back home.  The son is a night person and I am the exact opposite.  I love the mornings and prefer to finish my errands early.  So instead of waiting for him, I just get on with it, heavy grocery bags and all.  Which brings me to my other rant for the day.....people.
They see me coming, I am sure of it, this crazy looking  lady with 5 to 6 heavy supermarket bags, but do they get out of the way, or give me some space..... No.  Do they let me board the bus first..... No.  Do they let me find a spot to put the bags down for a minute.....No.  Do they let me alight first..... No.  Does the bloody bus driver drive in to the bus bay near the shelter to allow me to get off with 5 to 6 bags without getting wet in the heavy rain....... well he had to as I refused to get off and told him to  drive closer to the shelter!!!
then just as I was ready to declare that I hate all people,  a young lady who holds the lift doors for me to let me off as she sees me with so many bags....and faith is restored for just a little while........
So its 10am on Saturday and my day is just beginning as I wait eagerly for the handyman to finish the job on my leaky taps, and dream up what delights I will be cooking.  Just another Saturday morning ..............


Friday 30 March 2012

the experiment

Its time to start the experiment.  Its all about food .... Gluten Free food!
After my last blood tests for cholesterol etc, I was good for a little while only.  Then came the nights out, the Tapas Bar and Restaurant week,  I haven't been good at all and I have suffered for it.
Lets not talk about the alcohol which I have been consuming copious amounts of, but lets talk about gluten.  I thought it was only wheat that I had developed an intolerance to, but nope its gluten.   It made me bloated and gassy which wasn't very pleasant at all.
So I have decided to experiment, to avoid gluten as much as I can for one month and see if it makes a difference.  I also have declared a one month ban on alcohol.  Well maybe not a total ban.  a drink now and again cant be all that bad!
So for the last few days I have been really good and trying to avoid gluten, and its not that easy...... no cakes, biscuits, malted stuff and there is a debate about Oats having gluten as well.  Our Supermarket does stock some gluten free food and I also bought a packet of "bake your own gluten free bread"  which I have yet to bake.  
Will I make it through one month of gluten free food?  Will it make a difference to my gassy moments?  
Well one can only try!
 

Thursday 29 March 2012

i miss gardening

I miss gardening...
When i was married and living in Malaysia, which seems like a different life altogether, i used to have a garden.  It was my escape in a way, go out there among the plants, weeding, potting, watering, trimming, or simply just admiring the flowers and enjoying the garden.  I had the time to spend out there away from the husband with a very valid excuse to go do things in the garden.  in a world of pots and dirt and flowers I was happy, able to let my mind wander as I sat on a little stool weeding the japanese roses or trimming the ferns.
I have an aunt who used to escape very much like I did.  Her garden was and still is magnificent with fruit trees and flowers growing with abandon.
Now I live in high rise Singapore and with the layout of my home, I dont get alot of direct sun coming into the flat.  I have tried to grow some plants, if the cat hasnt eaten it, they die because of the lack of sunlight or I simply seem to have lost my touch!
As a child I used to play alot in the garden, pretending that the plants were vegetables and I was cooking up an elaborate meal with exotic ingredients.  I had an old shoe box that was my pot and I would sit under a bush talking to myself about the food I was preparing. Escaping into my own little world.
 
I miss that.  I miss the time I could spend outdoors pottering in the garden.  I miss being able to sit under a tree and dream and let my mind wander.  I miss being able to escape
 

Friday 23 March 2012

my fathers daughter

I grew up with 3  sisters and 1 younger brother.  Mum always favoured our brother and she still does and yes that still bothers me.  Dad did favour his daughters more but he wasnt around much so that meant that Mum ruled the roost.  My mother is one of those timeless beauties.  An extremely gorgeous woman.  My older sister looks very much like Mum and so does my younger sister.  The other sister is actually our cousin  but grew up with us, hence the title sister.  It was always very interesting for me as people loved to tell mum how beautiful she was and they would look at my sisters and say that they looked just like mum and were so pretty!  Then they would look at me..... and I would get the look over and they would say 'you look just like your Dad'
Dad, mum and yes thats me!
So I grew up thinking that i wasnt up to par with my sisters and their beauty.  It didnt bother me very much as I was different than them and I liked being different.  I wasnt as social as them, I wasnt as normal as them.  I have always been darker, emotionally and intellectually.  I was also sick often, with really bad asthma.  Which in a way made me more of a loner as I couldnt run around and play with my siblings.  I listened to rock, while they listened to mainly pop music, I watched different type of movies, I read different types of books.  I was different.  there was a time I thought I must be adopted (but then i realized every teenager thought that!!)  I was socially awkward (still am to a degree) and I hated small talk and till today find it hard to strike up a conversation with strangers.
Both my sisters have no problem doing that, like Mum.  I learnt I was like Dad.  Straight talking, no nonsense, dark, moody, a loner and just different and of course I look just like him.  I have his smile (all of us actually have his smile), his eyes, his eyebrows, his look.  He was a complicated man, and I know I am a complicated woman, I inherited his way at looking at things and sizing things up.  we never speak first, we listen.
Till today Mum will say " you're just like your father"  and you know what, I like it when she says that.  I am after all my fathers daughter!

Thursday 22 March 2012

burn the bra

I detest wearing bras.  If I could I would be swinging free everyday!  No tight restricted, digging into your flesh bras.  Or worse still extremely padded and hot bras.
Its hard for me to get a good bra that doesn't cost the earth,  be sexy and fit well (i refuse to wear old women type bras).
I  am no Pam Anderson. neither am I a flat runway,  I have a decent enough rack that doesn't require further enhancements. Underwire bras have the extra support but they dig into your sides and leave unsightly scars, the ones with better support look like  something my granny in her 90's would want to wear.  and the pretty   Victoria's Secret ones are sexy with little support and always padded to the max.  Getting fitted for the right bra is the way to go, well that's what the manufacturers say anyway.  But each manufacturer has their own type of sizing and shape so if you buy one size from one brand i can bet you that a different brand will have a totally different size that fits you!
So when I find a type that fits and looks nice I usually buy a few at one go.  Then the problem of washing them is another  factor..... you cant throw them into the washing machine you have to hand wash the ones with underwires as they get all funny if you do.
but lazy me does throw them into the washing machine and then have to contend with pulling the damn bras back into shape, and even bending and unbending the wires!
I have my moments with feminism and although i do like wearing lingerie for the man, the bra is fast becoming a torture device. I am fortunate that my 'ladies' haven't felt the ravages of age and gravity (yet) so I can happily wander around the house braless. Would i still I wonder even when nature takes it course? 
All i know is one day very soon I may hold a party with the sole intention of burning the damn bra!

Wednesday 21 March 2012

buttons for pregnant women

I think all pregnant women should wear buttons to tell the word that they are pregnant.  At least that will take away the guesswork on trains and buses.  Then we don't have to wonder if she is pregnant or just fat.
It is an insult to those of us that get offered a seat when we aren't pregnant.  And no so far it hasn't happened to me but I know I will be  mortified if someone stood up to give me a seat thinking I was pregnant, when i wasn't!
In this day and age of information overload, this could just be one other way to get a message out there fast and effectively.  After all we want the information given to us in a clear, concise and unobtrusive way.
A button on a woman's clothing telling the world that she is pregnant and needs to sit down, will take the heat off her and the person who cant decide to stand up and offer the seat.   No interaction is required except for the person to stand up and say politely " I see you are pregnant and need a seat, please take mine"  how easy is that!  No mistakes, no fuss.
The buttons could be given  out at hospitals, doctors offices, train stations, the list is endless.  it could also be a charity project, sell them to raise funds for children hospitals or orphanages.  The possibilities are endless.....

child free flights

Wouldn't it be wonderful if they had either child free flights or child free sections on planes??
I have nothing against the young adults, toddlers or infants that share the aircraft with me, except when they start kicking the seat in front and I am sitting in that seat, screaming because they are tired cos mum and dad thought a 6am boarding was fine for the children, simply throwing tantrums, running up and down the aisle...... the list of complaints can go on.
Yes I know that they are people too and have the right to travel with their parents and they need to move around and be occupied just like everyone else..... but everyone else doesn't scream and yell when its bedtime, or if they cant have their favourite toy!
Perhaps we could have child free sections, and no I am not talking business class or first class, cos most of us travel cattle class and bloody hell its time someone took notice of us back there!
So why not, why cant they allocate seats just for families and children, and let them annoy each other with the crying, screaming, kicking.  Let mum and dad get a taste of their own medicine.
It would be just like the hotels or restaurants that have openly branded themselves as child free places....
So why not child free sections on flights?  I don't really have a problem with the child being there, what I don't like is that parents seem oblivious to the noise, nuisance and mayhem that the precious ones create. Parents should start realizing that the rest of mankind isn't used to temper tantrums and noise created by these little humans.  we don't think its fun or cute to have junior hanging over the seat and staring at us while he/she picks away at his/her little nostrils.  I have children and they didn't misbehave and no I didn't smack them in public or threaten them in any way to keep them quiet and well behaved.
So all parents of unruly misbehaved children, perhaps one day you may find yourself in the back of the plane all in a class of your own and the rest of us can actually enjoy our flying experience.

UPDATE:  I read in today's papers (13th April)  that an Asian Airline actually has been misquoted by a Regional Travelers magazine  about child free sections on the upper deck of the A380's!  Oh my if only that quote wasnt misquoted!!

Saturday 17 March 2012

holding hands

Sitting in a fast food joint having lunch and watching the world go by..... bliss for a weekday afternoon.  Made possible by the fact that the company sent me on a 4 day course on safety in the workplace.  So lunch time was different this last week.  I could go out and relax and watch the world as I ate.
  The lunch crowds in town are different from the crowds  I see in the area where I work.  Here in town they were better dressed and better looking.....yes I did look at the gorgeous young men around... I am human!  Women in the designer shoes and handbags, harried mothers with kids in tow (it was the school holiday time). Tourists looking lost or just wandering around looking.
It was interesting,  and one particular couple caught my eye.  Obviously tourists, an older couple, probably a bit older than me, and they were walking, talking and holding hands.  They looked happy, content and secure in each others company.  and did I mention they were holding hands....
That has got to be the most special thing for me, holding hands.  You hold your child's hand when they are young, when walking with them.  Its a sense of security for both mother and child.  For lovers and partners, its like wanting that person to be by your side.  Its recognising that your lover or partner is yours, that those hands  when linked, can do it all together.
I noticed that couple because I miss holding hands......

Sunday 11 March 2012

feeling sorry for myself day

Today I have declared it to be "feeling sorry for myself day"  I will stay home in my pyjamas, do nothing except eat, watch useless television, ignore the son and pout as much as I want.
I think it started yesterday, this feeling sorry for myself thing.
First it was the handyman's no show
then the tailor - the man from India that comes around once a month to sell us material to make lovely Punjabi suits.  well its been months since I gave my orders but the damn suits still don't fit!  they were 6 inches off on the sides and it looked like I was wearing a sack.  So he has to redo them and hopefully this week I will be able to finally wear my new suits.  I still hope!!
Then it was my sister in law,  it was something she said.  she has maids, works half a day teaching, doesn't do any household chores except to drive to the supermarket and load up for a weeks worth of groceries and yesterday she said she loves her weekends so that she can do nothing except sleep and watch TV.  That was her reality I guess, not mine and it put into perspective that she has no idea how the other half lives.
And lets not forget the son, today he will be reminded that this isn't a hotel (unpaid one at that)  and he either shapes up or he can move out.
So I am off to enjoy my feeling sorry for myself day or perhaps I should call it "I am a bitch today, approach with caution!"

Saturday 10 March 2012

the elusive handyman

I think I actually hate him now.  The elusive handyman.  He must be an urban legend.  You think you will have him come over to repair your leaky taps but nope, he never turns up
Its been 4 weeks, yes thats right 4 long weeks of excuses of forgotten appointments, lies of out of stock taps, and simply not answering his phone.  Today was the last straw.  I called to reconfirm the appointment yesterday and was assured that he would be here at 11am to fix things.  This morning I got a call at 9.30am to inform me that he cant come at 11am as he had too many jobs lined up, he would come over in the afternoon.  I said no, as I had to be somewhere else at 4pm.  So I waited as I was told that he would come about 1pm or so.  In a nutshell I called the boss at 1.30pm and told them dont bother even if they did purchase the spare parts, told them to sue me if they wanted money for the spare parts already purchased,  but I had had enough and was going to look for another handyman

If I can find one, if not I will read up on how to change taps on the internet and do the bloody thing myself!!

Thursday 8 March 2012

advice.........

Have you ever wondered if the advice you get from your friends about dating and that special someone is really good advice.
Women tend to talk about whats happening in their lives with their girlfriends and yes sometimes we obsess about " why didn't he call', "why did he say  that"   Why, why, why.......
We want answers to everything and we want an explanation for it all.  We listen to our friends complain about their men and we emphatically declare that man an asshole and tell her to dump him......
We don't know what we are saying, and woe be that silly woman that actually takes advice from her female friends.  Women can be your worst best friend, we tend to think that every man has to do things in one way and one way only.  Who cares what he wants, this is what you should be getting from him!  And if he doesn't do it the "way its supposed to be" then he must be
a.  Married.
b.  Loser
c.  hiding something like a personality disorder
There is no winning with female friends, if your relationship doesn't pass muster or is different, they tell you that its not right.
What is right anyway, who says there is a right and wrong to any relationship....and I am not talking about the really bad relationships where violence is a way of life, or a serial cheater is the main course.  I am talking about the "normal' ones.  Not that i would know about a normal relationship.  I have only had one real relationship in my whole life, and that was my marriage and that didn't turn out very well!
But what about at my age, past 40 something and heading to 50, what should a relationship be like?  Would the friends and family understand what I was looking for?  actually here's a thought.... Do I know what I am looking for??
I have always done what I felt was right, never really listening to advice from friends or family.  I have got hurt in the process of going my own way but in the end I know I did what I wanted and survived and have become a better person for it.  So advice is nice to listen to, but will I take it............

Tuesday 6 March 2012

older men vs younger men

I am no spring chicken but I always wondered how old would I go if I had to.  Its alright for men to date younger women, its actually expected and they get the 'respect' from their peers if they do go out and date young women.
 I was recently hit on by a much older man (this usually happens at the 'club') and it made me wonder,  if I had to, would I go out with a man so much older .... say 15 years older.  Would we have anything in common, would we have common interests?  Would he get annoyed with the music I listen to or the movies I watch?  My ex was/is older than me by 7 years, and I wonder if i stick to men my own age or younger solely because I had a bad experience with an older mate.  Do older men tend to be more controlling?  I did date older men a few years back and I found them boring,  sedate and lacking in spontaneity.
 With the younger ones I always wondered why they were out with me, an older woman.  I always thought that all men had one thing on their mind....sex, and that if I was getting older, sex would be less frequent and then what would the men want me for?  Is it all only about sex..... Would it be any easier if that is all it was about........
My non boyfriend (I still have to 'label' him as he isn't just a friend, or just someone I have sex with, or just a lover, or a boyfriend/partner) is a few years younger than me, not a significant number of years but I still wonder sometimes why he isn't out with a younger woman.  I am not uncomfortable about the age gap,  I don't feel older than him, I don't look older than him, I don't act like I am older than him, so why do I keep wondering what it is he likes about me.  Must be my scintillating personality!
He recently sent me an article  extolling the virtues of women over 40.  - go see the link - http://www.suddenlysenior.com/praiseolderwomen.html, (he sent me an abridged version of the article) which made me think that perhaps I need to stop wondering and just enjoy it.  Just enjoy the attention of a younger man .....

Saturday 3 March 2012

hangovers feel different at 40 something......

So I went out with the sisters last night, its been awhile since I had a drink and I (foolishly) thought I could stick to a couple of drinks and head home early......
Why do I delude myself.
We had  a couple of drinks at my favourite bar and as it got more crowded and noisy we decided to head off  to the "club" (one shall not mention names but those that do know me will know which club I frequent).  On a Friday night the club is usually pretty interesting and full of friends wanting to just have a drink in a quiet place....
well I ended up getting home past 1am and happily inebriated.
This morning however it is a totally different story....... with errands to run and of course waiting for the handy man to turn up to do the (long overdue) repairs, I couldn't have a lie in.  The handy man didn't turn up (he had some cock and bull story about the parts being out of stock..... who the hell runs out of taps!!) and I had promised to cook something for our family get together dinner tonight.  Which meant a trip to the supermarket.  I do always say, never again, wont drink so much when I have errands to do the next day..... do I ever learn...No.
So my trip to the supermarket on a Saturday morning was not pleasant, even on hangover free days I get annoyed with people but today it was worse.  Its getting harder to recover from a night out, it now takes me a whole day to sit with my head in my hands and moan and groan before I actually start to feel human again.  Lots of isotonic drinks and a greasy burger do help but generally it takes 24 hours of sheer hell before I want to face anyone.
A night out with the girls was fun but its a heavy price to pay the next day.....and when happily drunk I end up doing things I shouldn't, like enjoying a cigarette...