Friday 27 August 2021

what to do with my linkedin connections

How does it work when you have retired and still have a Linkedin account...

Do I want to keep the account?  should I just delete it?  or just leave it to fester online.

I have turned off all notifications so my linkedin account will just stagnate out there in cyber space.  Its like somewhere, some place, it shows I really existed, I really had a job that paid me.

Which begs the question why do I need that justification of having existed and worked for a living.   I have met and connected with many people, people I didnt like, People I really liked and people that I have worked with. While I valued most of their roles in my working life, that is where they stayed.  Just at work.  I no longer exist in that stratosphere..

I dont want to see what my connections are doing as I just dont care enough.  I also dont want to see what my ex boss is doing as her recent actions in the office have made me realise that like her husband (the finance manager) she is not who I thought she was. 

Some connections became friends, some good friends some not and some that made me think that friendship is just a word they bandy about..  
My real friends have my phone number and they chat with me often.  So why do I need a reminder of people I worked with? Why do I need a reminder of what I used to do?  I know what I did, and I am proud of the work I have done.  
Do I need to keep the linkedin account to make myself feel better... or is it just a reminder that I traveled, did events around the world and had fun while I worked.  I loved what I did and its now over.  It became a chore in the end, not because of the work but because of the people.

so what do I do with my linkedin account....


Thursday 19 August 2021

dating in Canada

 So Canada

Is it time for me to go seek a new life here or is it just a transit stop.

Am I am ready to find a man and settle down?  Find a partner, lover, companion for the next phase of my life.  its just the dating part and finding someone that I am tired of.

In Singapore I was 'seeing' A again but not as in a relationship as that is not what he wanted and I went along as I thought why not, I was going to go to Canada for a bit so I thought I would just enjoy his company while I was in Singapore.  When I got to Canada I asked him again if he thought he could have a relationship as that was what I wanted... and I give him his due, he is as consistent as ever in that no, he didnt want that.  

I do feel sad of course, that I keep picking the men who do not see me as a life partner. Is it too late for me? How does one date in Canada when one doesnt drive... 

Do I want to even start dating again?  so many bloody questions in my head.  I think for now I will just take it easy, relax and see where the next few months go and keep my eyes open for all the men around...



Tuesday 17 August 2021

am I ready to retire

July passed in a blur of packing, fixing up some stuff in the home for the tenant, fighting with online sellers as the light I ordered online turned up broken, trying to return the light and having to go buy a new one, then having the online shopping company make gaffes on picking up the light i needed to return... it was a comedy of errors with added stress.

But I got there in the end

It took quite a bit of time, way more time than I anticipated to pack up my life, because that is what I have done. I have lived in that flat for 24+ years.  It was the first home I purchased after my divorce and I have spent the last 24+ years paying for it, fixing it up, decorating it, living in it and making it a safe haven for me and my boys. So it was hard packing it all up to hand it over to a bunch of strangers to live in.

I cant describe the feeling, the day the moving guys came to collect my 35 boxes, and my furniture for storage.  I was watching 24+ years of my life move to a 96 sqft space.  to be locked away for a period of time while I decide where and what my next chapter will be.  Bittersweet.. scary... exciting... all rolled into one.  

Then it was organising myself for my flight to Canada.  To get the PCR test, praying I was negative, to get my paperwork in order as Canada was not allowing tourists but as my son lived there and had his PR card, I could go in with paperwork to prove that relationship.

The flights were not full full but full enough to panic a little in case someone had covid....The transfer in Tokyo was quick and painless but again worrying about Covid and keeping hands washed and sanitised and mask on.

Once in Vancouver, the added stress on whether I would have to quarantine as it was not a forgone conclusion even if I was fully vaccinated, that I was going to have to spend 14 days in quarantine.  I had to book accommodation on my own to show I had a quarantine plan, which was 3 days at a Vancouver Airport Hotel and 11 days on my own in a place where I would be self sufficient without coming into contact with anyone.  I was very lucky that I didnt have to spend 14 days in quarantine but the hotel wont refund the full amount (still waiting for the refund to come in) and neither did I  get the full amount back from Airbnb for the 11 day stay.  so that stung a little but all in all happy that I escaped  having to spend 2 weeks in quarantine.  The Canadian government has said from September 7th tourists will be allowed in and fully vaccinated travelers wont have to quarantine... I wish they had been clearer for my travel.. 

Canada will be an interesting experiment.  I dont drive and that will hamper my activities and I would hate to have to depend on my daughter in law to drive me everywhere.  thats just not fair on the poor girl, as I am sure I will curtail her freedom and her life.  

I wonder if I can just stay with my son and daughter in law, without giving up my own life as I have given up my own space... will I like it here....am I ready to retire?  Am I ready to be put out to pasture because it does feel like that is what I am doing..