Friday 21 October 2011

my daily prayer

dear God

please let me be humble
please let me be nice
please let me ignore the fools
and don't let me eat rice

please let me sometimes be right
please let me always be strong
please let me sometimes win fights
and not always be wrong

Thursday 20 October 2011

the 24hr shopping paradise

There is a store here on our tiny little red dot of an island that has become a must visit place for all tourists and locals alike.  It stocks just about everything one can imagine.  From electronics, gadgets, sportswear, gold jewelery, every grocery item imaginable, sporting goods, toiletries, perishables, the list is endless.
Too good to be true..... yes!
What you get for 24hr shopping for everything is crowds and chaos.  Chaos not by the crowds, but by the store itself.  It has expanded over the years and now covers one street length of a few floors of shopping (dis)pleasure.
The aisles are narrow, the stock is badly displayed, there is hardly any room to manoeuvre yourself, let alone a trolley.  The checkout counters are spread all over the store at odd locations and leave no room for anyone to line up or even know which way to face.  They treat each customer as a potential shoplifter.  However I must say that customer service has improved tremendously, now you can actually get a response from the staff on where to find things!  Seriously though, they have improved, they are now sullen but polite.
Always go there when you aren't in a hurry or hungry.  That way you won't feel too stressed when trying to negotiate the narrow aisles and crowds.  That way you also can stroll in your own world and marvel at the range of  sardines they stock, and the amazing amount of Indian spices and curry powders.  Ignoring the chaos and mess, and when I am in a good mood, I actually love going there to look for interesting canned goods and spices from all over the world. Looking for a gag gift for a loved one, they stock an interesting array of "decor" items that make you want to buy it and give it as a present just to see the look on the receivers face!
I was there yesterday, had a ball in the new section as it wasnt very crowded.  However it didnt have all the items I needed, I still had to ask for the popadum section and was told  that I had to go over to the old building.  I think I did stare at the man dumbfounded for a whole minute, but resigned to my fate, I trekked back to the old section and again had a blast looking at the variety of items.  I did leave with more than I went there for, even if I did make a list. 
So forget the lists, forget the fact that the customer is always right and head to our tourist attraction in Syed Alwi road and marvel at the store that is Mustaffas!

singlish

The ruling elite here think we should speak proper English. Singlish which is our unique hybrid is frowned upon and widely discouraged.  I love Singlish!  It is an interesting way of speaking and no one else does it the way we do!  As it is, our minds and actions are already controlled enough, please leave us be and let us continue speaking Singlish.

I should start a campaign (as opposed to the speak good English one) on lets speak Singlish!!
My sister in Australia is appalled that I advocate speaking Singlish.  We grew up in a household where Dad made us speak proper English, we were not allowed to say lah!  A convent education also helped drill into us the correct and proper way to speak.  Don't you think Singlish is so much easier?  For example  one can say in proper English ( or my version of proper English as I am not an educator or some professor of the language so ignore all the flaws in my grammar)  " How do you think we can solve this problem"  or in Singlish it would be " so How??"  or my favourite.  "Do you think this is possible"  and the Singlish version would be " Can or not??"


Simpler!  easier!  and just as effective!  I use Singlish daily in my interactions with people I work with, at home however, we do speak in full sentences.  If I tried to speak proper English to the hawkers I doubt I would get very far, I'd probably be laughed at or scolded or worse, ignored!


I don't see what the fuss is all about, why is speaking Singlish considered so bad?  So what if the tourists can't understand us?  We cant understand them either, and it isn't because we cant speak English, its because of the accents.   I actually like accents, its musical.  you can tell a Malaysian Chinese from a Singaporean Chinese just by the accent,  and of course a China Chinese is easier to spot.  Same goes for an Indian Indian and a Singaporean Indian.  but that's a whole different topic altogether!

So lets embrace Singlish, its one thing that sets us apart from the rest.  Who wants to sound just like everyone else anyway. 





Wednesday 19 October 2011

do as i say and not as i do

I have been guilty of preaching, yes indeed, I preach and act like I am the perfect person and everyone else is wrong.  I give advice freely ( and yes have been guilty of giving it when it wasnt asked for) and click my tongue when they dont listen and say "see i told you so".  Its hard to come down to reality and hear it from someone else that I am not always right.  Recently I gave a friend some advice on dating ( dont laugh) and i could actually hear my own words as my mouth formed them and I stopped myself.  I couldnt believe myself.  I was giving her advice on what not to do when I was guilty of doing exactly the same thing!
I preach and I hate it. Time to stop and think before I open my mouth.  That will be difficult, I am more the, open mouth, stick foot in, then try to extract foot, type.  I used to be unbearable, I used to tell my brother how to raise his children.  I was insufferable, but I am happy to report that I realised it pretty quickly and I stopped.  I am afraid that I will end up like my mother ( I love you mum but...) so my kids have been told, to buy a shot gun and shoot me if I become like my mother.  They have to correct me discreetly from now by calling me 'Sharan' everytime I act pompous (Sharan being my mothers name)
But I digress.....
I have to stop giving advice especially as I increasingly find myself doing the exact opposite of all that damn advice I so freely give out.

Monday 17 October 2011

no more people please

If you read the papers you would know that in the "only" main English language paper today, there was mention of something  along the lines of better rail access will bring about more patronage of the rail way system as the new vehicle quota will be slowed down etc etc.  Now they also stated that we currently have a population of 5.18 million people on our tiny little red dot of an island and wait for it..... they are expecting it to grow to 6.5 million within the decade!!
Are they out of their fucking minds!  Not only are we already crowded and bursting at the seams, its going to get worse !!  They are everywhere, rushing around, pushing, shoving, rude people
Everyday, the trains are jammed packed and no the transport minister doesn't need to go ride the trains and tell us " see its fine, I got on easily"  leave the entourage behind and ride it incognito, then tell us !!

A few days earlier there was a disruption at one of the main city stations right at peak hour end of the day.  It was scary looking at the pictures of the people waiting for the train on the overcrowded platform.  When I do decide to take the train, I marvel at the throng of people rushing for the escalators once they get off the trains.  I once stood upstairs looking down at the platform of rushing people and wondered what if  there was an accident.  What would happen if someone fell in that rushing crowd, would people trample that person, not knowing that someone had fallen.  Do we need to wait for that to happen before we think about better crowd control.
Ultimately we need to ask, do we need more people, is it the right way to fuel the economy by bringing in more people??

I for one say stop, no more people please.

Friday 14 October 2011

spell check

I LOVE spell check.  without it I would be doomed.  Doomed to be the one person that cant spell.  but am I??
No, it seems people have forgotten how to spell.  Here in our little red dot we still follow the old way of teaching kids how to read and write, spelling is important.  they incorporate some phonetics but its still rote learning and memorising the words.  I used to be very good at spelling until computers entered my life!
It used to bother me alot, those little red wiggly lines in my documents and emails, but now I happily ignore them and hit spell check at the end of all my vigorous typing and like magic all those red wiggly lines are gone!

How cool is that!  if only life was as simple as spell check

Thursday 13 October 2011

Mission Impossible

I am on a mission it seems, on a mission to go find that man, come hell or highwater.  Am I?

To some it seems that I am but if you ask me (well even if you dont I will tell you as it is my Blog) I am only on the lookout for that one special someone.  That one person who isnt afraid to say to everyone he knows, that I am his, that I belong to him.  Yes even is this day and age of feminism women still need that affirmation that they belong to that one special man.   Most of us do anyway.

A friend likes to say she is a simple girl with simple needs but is a complicated woman..... that kind of sums me up as well.  simple needs simple girl as I dont like or want the over the top romancing or constant declarations of love.  I do however want a companion in my journey of life ( whats left of it anyway) but I don't know how to go about and do that.  I don't know if I am doing it right and if I have inadvertently lost something I should have nurtured and not forced. Complicated indeed.

Was it Plato that said that humans originally had four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them.  Is that a crock of shit or is it real.  Are we condemned or doomed to keep looking for the other half?

All I know is that this search for love, affirmation and companionship is getting more complicated and feels like mission impossible.........

Saturday 8 October 2011

The first date

After my initial panic attack, I had to re evaluate my priorities and decide if I wanted to go ahead and do this dating thing.  After much soul searching and of course realizing why the failed attempt of a relationship actually failed, I called my friend again and luckily the blind date still wanted to meet.
So it finally happened....with a little bit of drama of course, after all what is life without drama!!

Its been raining every day this last week, so I figured that I should arrange to leave early to be there on time for a 7.30 dinner reservation.  I work in events for gods sake, I know how to plan things!  But life conspires against me, it just likes to fuck things up!  I called a cab and on a rainy friday evening what was I expecting?? immediate response?  not bloody likely.  Being late for a date, a first date!  It didnt bode well......
20 mins later and still no cab.....
call the restaurant and inform them that I will be late and please inform my date, this was going downhill faster than those boys in cool runnings!!
The taxi finally arrived,  (remember I still have to blog about all those taxis) and he got me there pretty quickly.  Only 10 minutes late................

what was I expecting, what was I hoping for, what was I looking for......
I am looking for things that aren't there............

Thursday 6 October 2011

the unaware cougar


unconsciously, totally unaware, unintended......thats me when it comes to younger men.  totally unaware that I am a cougar!  I hate labels, but I have been branded a cougar.... often.
Its all very innocent and I believe that it happens because I am unaware that I am now a "certain" age.  Its not easy when you get older and are not aware that age has snuck up from behind and bitten you on the ass.  

If you asked me how old I was inside and how old I felt ( and we arent talking of being felt up here) I would say 25!
I forget that my children are older than I feel inside, I forget that I should behave like an older woman.  I forget that I have to dress in age appropriate attire, although I do stop, look and ask my sons their opinion should I question my choices.  
I still appreciate the male specimen, I still smile at good looking hunky men, and I get smiled at by good looking hunky men and it leaves me feeling awfully nice until I realise that OMG that man is probably my sons age, and then I just feel awful!!
I watch alot of sport, I like watching football, rugby, motor sports, tennis, cricket to name a few, and of course the men are getting younger as I progress upwards along the ladder of aging.  Daniel Carter comes to mind recently, as the Rugby world cup is on, and his famous Jockey ads have had a fair amount of attention.  That gorgeous man is my sons age!  Until I realised that, I was happily ogling his physique in his Jockeys!
Am I perverted I wonder.... or am I just happily clueless

It doesn't help that I seem to have dated alot of younger men.  from 9 years younger and upwards.  At least i have had some sense of decorum and refused to go out with anyone who is 10 years younger.  Then I wonder why haven't I, why am I so squeamish about younger men.  I know several women of a "certain" age that have had and are in a very successful relationship with younger men.  Younger men seem to want to go out with me, and for the life of me I can't see the attraction.  I know I am quite good looking enough (modest aren't I) to attract a younger man but I don't think looks are the ultimate attraction for them.  I have been told its my maturity and the confidence that I exude.  Really!??

Well, as  I stumble along in this  confusing maze of dating, perhaps I may come across a couple of younger men again and this time perhaps I wont ask them how old they are and does their mother know what they are up to. At least I can try to conquer one of the restrictions I place on myself, the next one would be women asking me out i guess!!



Wednesday 5 October 2011

dating.....an archaic ritual & a necessary evil

What is dating.  Two people meet for a singular purpose to see if they are compatible and attracted to each other enough to make future plans.  Its like a test!  Isn't it?
A test to see who you are, what you like and if the other person likes you enough.  Its stressful!!  But its a necessary evil.  How else do you find someone you want to hang out with forever.  Whether its an introduction by friends, online dating, being fixed up by our parents, seeing someone in the gym everyday, that is the beginning to dating.  You ask the person out, you go out with that person and it becomes a date!!
There are several forms of dates, dinner, museums, walking the old train tracks, jungle trekking, movies, a drink in a bar, fishing, cycling, in fact any social activity can be a date. 
Its a prelude for things to come. 
If after the first date you know you will never be able to imagine yourself with that person, you move on.  You start again, sifting through the potentials and date again.  Its tiring, Its stressful, you have to be on your best behaviour to attract and keep their interest.  Did our parents and grandparents get it right with arranged marriages and no dating.  Has our freedom of choice actually made us more confused?
I know I am confused.  Confused to the point that I am doing it all wrong. 

I don't know how to date or how to be the perfect little woman that plays hard to get so that men want to go out with me (following the old saying that men want what they can't have).  What you see is what you get with me, no games.  Perhaps its time to play the game of dating, to do it the right way.