Thursday, 6 October 2011

the unaware cougar

unconsciously, totally unaware, unintended......thats me when it comes to younger men.  totally unaware that I am a cougar!  I hate labels, but I have been branded a cougar.... often.
Its all very innocent and I believe that it happens because I am unaware that I am now a "certain" age.  Its not easy when you get older and are not aware that age has snuck up from behind and bitten you on the ass.  

If you asked me how old I was inside and how old I felt ( and we arent talking of being felt up here) I would say 25!
I forget that my children are older than I feel inside, I forget that I should behave like an older woman.  I forget that I have to dress in age appropriate attire, although I do stop, look and ask my sons their opinion should I question my choices.  
I still appreciate the male specimen, I still smile at good looking hunky men, and I get smiled at by good looking hunky men and it leaves me feeling awfully nice until I realise that OMG that man is probably my sons age, and then I just feel awful!!
I watch alot of sport, I like watching football, rugby, motor sports, tennis, cricket to name a few, and of course the men are getting younger as I progress upwards along the ladder of aging.  Daniel Carter comes to mind recently, as the Rugby world cup is on, and his famous Jockey ads have had a fair amount of attention.  That gorgeous man is my sons age!  Until I realised that, I was happily ogling his physique in his Jockeys!
Am I perverted I wonder.... or am I just happily clueless

It doesn't help that I seem to have dated alot of younger men.  from 9 years younger and upwards.  At least i have had some sense of decorum and refused to go out with anyone who is 10 years younger.  Then I wonder why haven't I, why am I so squeamish about younger men.  I know several women of a "certain" age that have had and are in a very successful relationship with younger men.  Younger men seem to want to go out with me, and for the life of me I can't see the attraction.  I know I am quite good looking enough (modest aren't I) to attract a younger man but I don't think looks are the ultimate attraction for them.  I have been told its my maturity and the confidence that I exude.  Really!??

Well, as  I stumble along in this  confusing maze of dating, perhaps I may come across a couple of younger men again and this time perhaps I wont ask them how old they are and does their mother know what they are up to. At least I can try to conquer one of the restrictions I place on myself, the next one would be women asking me out i guess!!

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