Saturday 31 December 2011

another new year

well its the end of another year.  Have I done everything I wanted to do.....of course not.  I made a resolution this year (2011) to learn how to drive.  I didnt even come close to achieving that!
so this year no resolutions no planned itineraries ....oh wait
maybe that could be my resolution
not to make any plans and see how life goes.......
can I do that I wonder, me the planner, the control freak.
I suppose some planning should be fine, like planning my travel for the year and what I would like to see and do.  Planning my future at work as well will need some planning or some vision.  My personal life now thats where I can learn how to let go and just enjoy what I have.  No more obsessing, no more being driven and wanting to control situations.
so my non resolution for 2012 will be to enjoy life, no obsessing, minimum control and....... oh bloody hell it sounds like another plan!!

Friday 30 December 2011

price of progress

Is tourism progress?  Does it bring in needed dollars into the economy to help small towns and forgotten cities to flourish, prosper and regain some of the splendour of times gone by.  Or does it bring about chaos, with hordes of tourists.  The once slightly decaying streets with their old grandeur turn into cheap gaudy stores with tourist trinkets.  I took a one day trip to Malacca and I found the old city bursting at the seams with hordes of hungry tourists from the region, determined to spend their time and money wandering the heritage trails of Malacca.  To me it just looked to be adding to the destruction of the heritage.

Conservation of the world heritage site doesn't seem to be done properly and this is my opinion only, but somehow the progress of the tourist trade seems to have spoilt the feel of the whole Heritage thing.  I wandered the small lanes and I stumbled upon old houses, grand dames of the past, crumbling but still magnificent.  Old styles and architecture fading into decay, restoration probably too expensive for the families, so they leave them to rot.  It kind of reminded me of a grand old lady,  trying to live quietly, and  all she wants is to be left alone to remember her old glory days, but somehow they wont leave her alone, they dress her up with too much make up and glitter and make a sorry exhibition of her.

 The once humble trishaws now are trussed up with displays of  plastic flowers and music blaring loudly to attract tourists, to take a small trip around the heritage areas.

I know there is a price to pay for progress, and we can't sit and look through to the past and wish for things to be the way they were.  But how I wish we could allow progress in slowly and do it properly, keep our heritage and teach the younger generation to develop and nurture it instead of turning everything into a theme park!

 There is so much to conserve in Malacca, Jonker street with those pretty roofs and interesting walls, the old church on the hill, the dutch and british buildings.  Am I one of the old souls that wants to remember the past of these old cities and keep those buildings intact rather than bulldoze everything into the 21st century.   Am I too romantic in my thinking that progress shouldnt be at such a heavy price?

 All I know is that I was disappointed with the trip, to see a city that I hadnt't seen in twenty years, take the plunge into just another tourist vacation spot.

Wednesday 21 December 2011

weight (mis)management

I have a love affair with bread
All sorts of bread, ......... with butter, jams, all sorts of luscious spreads...........
Comfort food to me is hot toast slathered with butter and a generous sprinkling of sugar.  Yummm!
I have recently realised that as I inch up the ladder of  maturity, my digestive system doesn't want to cooperate anymore.  It doesn't let me eat what I want.  It doesn't let me indulge in an orgy of eating bread!  I am  now in the wheat intolerant bracket.  It  bloats me, it makes me windy, it makes me  uncomfortable!  Oh how I wept when I realised I couldn't indulge in my favourite comfort food.
 I was never any good at taking advice, and it frustrates me that I now have to heed all the advice that the doctors give out.   I suppose indulging in bread and toast occasionally isn't too bad and I am looking for alternatives to wheat, like spelt but it doesn't help that I keep putting off the visit to the health food shop.  So for a few more weeks, I can still indulge in all that lovely wheat!
My grandmother used to tell me years ago, to eat what I wanted when I was younger because as one got older one couldn't indulge in rich foods.  She used to be very careful in everything she ate and I was a bit puzzled about why she controlled her eating.   Now I know why!  I do not want to be that old granny that farts and burps loudly all the time just because my digestive system cant cope!
So back to the whole managing or should I say mis managing my weight.  I lose weight and can put it back on within a few days of indulging in all the evils (carbs and all that lovely holiday food now).  I still haven't started some form of exercise and I am due for another blood test to check my cholesterol and sugar levels (I confidently told the doctor that I wanted a retest in three months as I would now be a good girl and eat right.....delusional,  that is me).  I have a month before the next blood test, and it is the Christmas season, with supermarket shelves full of mince pies, puddings, chocolates, cheeses, hams... oh my,  the temptations are endless!
I am not going to make any New Year resolution about my weight and exercising as I  never keep them. I will probably go through 2012, with the same seesawing weight gain and loss.  Added incentive would be that I have all that lovely lingerie that I want to wear for .....

Hmm time to get off my ever increasing backside and start eating right and exercising...... after all,  I do want to feel confident enough to wear that black lace thingy for him....

Thursday 15 December 2011

hamsters

I want to be my own boss.....who doesn't.  But like the rest of humanity I get up in the morning, get ready, go to work, work at some job because I have to then go home at the end of the day and continue the cycle again the next day.  Like little hamsters we go round and round and the only time we trade wheels is when we get sick or take a holiday.  then we get back on the old work and life wheel .........
I want to get off the damn wheel
I want to live my life and do what  I want to do....... the mantra of a lot of us but none of us actually do anything about it.
Will I be different?  Will I get off the wheel and do it my way

Sunday 11 December 2011

pissed again

so we had our office Christmas party a few days ago and it was a rip roaring affair, with alot of tequila shots and more tequila shots.
I do enjoy the occasional tipple and sometimes I do get pissed, plastered and pass out drunk!  its in all the HR articles, all the What not to do at the office party, don't get drunk!  well i did !
It was a damn good party, alot of fun and  everyone let their hair down and made the effort to dress up in the theme "A Hawaiian Christmas".  The atmosphere was fun, and full of camaraderie that I could not help myself!
I was so sure that I could handle the drinks and stay on a maximum of 3 drinks the whole day....... oh how I lie to myself!  I like tequila, I like tequila shots.... a little too much.  After the 10th shot I couldn't count anymore and so at 6.30pm on a Friday evening I was put into a cab headed for home, totally pissed in the back seat.
The next morning I did wonder how on earth did I manage to  pay the cab, and make my way up in the lift and safely home.  Some risks are worth taking but honestly this was dangerous!  will I get pissed again? probably!  in the near future, Probably not!
Well one can hope!

Friday 2 December 2011

half a fucking century

That will be me soon, half a century of being on this planet.
I want to celebrate it by travelling to places I have always wanted to visit.  like Rome, Florence, Venice, Paris.  I don't want to rush it.  I want to spend all day in a museum, I want to spend all day sitting in a cafe watching the world go by.  I want to just go and enjoy myself and not worry about work, or family or laundry! I want to get my bottom pinched in Italy, hopefully!
I don't mind getting older, I just don't like that I will be getting wrinkly.  Thanks to the family genes , I wont look my age at all for sometime yet, yes yes being hopelessly modest here!  Its the other changes that worry me too, the dreaded change that women go through.   Hot flashes, mood swings, depression..... the choice of taking hormone replacement and put on kilos instantly but have some relief from the hot flashes.  lets not talk about the "dryness" ................oh lets!!
I like sex,  I enjoy it immensely.  Its not just the act, its the whole touchy feely thing so the thought that as you get older you don't feel like having sex and you dry out, is scary.

Its a new chapter I guess, when I turn 50.  Time to pursue my passions, my interests, my things.  I should name this the me decade, time for me.    But you know something, me alone isn't quite fun, you have to have someone special to share it with.