Monday 29 January 2018

i lasted 5 days on tinder

I thought why not give it a go

P thinks I hide away at home and avoid meeting people and I thought yeah maybe I am hiding. But I also realised that I enjoy being at home, alone, watching Netflix. So thats not really hiding is it?
But it does get lonely sometimes and I do wish I could find someone to play house with, but as I dont go out or put myself out there, the chances are very slim.

I realised quickly that there were scammers galore on tinder.  I was really disappointed and maybe I should have given it a bit longer but as everyone keeps telling me that I dont know what I want so how the hell am i supposed to figure it out on Tinder, I deleted my account after 5 days.

Maybe I am one of those that will end up all alone, with cats, and a shotgun... for unwanted guests.

Tuesday 23 January 2018

the love life

I have been at this blog writing thing for a few years now and each year I check how many posts I do a year.  2017 was the worst, only 21 posts, each year they seem to be getting less and less and I am getting more miserable as time goes by, and not writing enough.
no wonder I am miserable, I am not writing enough!!

I quit my job last year and had one project to do, and was totally with nothing to do from the middle of November.  I went off to Europe to catch up with P and have a good holiday.
To sort my head a bit and think about what I wanted.

I did go see P to see if he and I had any hope of having a relationship, but P didnt want a relationship and I wasnt sure about him.  Its like if someone doesnt show any interest, you automatically revert to being friends, so P and I are just friends, good friends and I seriously enjoy his company.

I had stopped seeing A since June, I hadnt talked to him since then either.  He texted a couple of times but I didnt reply.  I did start talking to him when I got back home after the holiday.  Not to go back to the way it was, I missed talking to him and I wanted to try to be friends.
Things did escalate to the point of him trying to persuade me to go back to where it was but I cant.  He thinks intimacy can be achieved without sharing a life. I cant do that.  He doesnt want the drama of living and being with a woman.  He wants the peaceful balance to remain in his life, being with a woman will upset that.  He isnt wrong in wanting that and I am not wrong in wanting a live in lover/friend/companion/partner.  its a pity we both want different things and as he keeps reminding me, "you cant always get what you want"
So after 8 years of fighting, going back and forth and trying to do things his way, I am done.

I still will talk to him, still text but hopefully we can keep it as just friends and not revert to old habits of flirting etc.

so that leaves me wide open to go find someone..... am I up to it?  Can I be bothered to start from scratch and trawl through online or tinder for a match?

Who knows..



Monday 22 January 2018

almost done

The contractors have left, my home is back to what it was, well almost

I got rid of all the junk i had accumulated over the years and re arranged some furniture, got new curtains for my room and as I had to move lots of furniture around, the whole place got a marvellous purge of dust and grime. Oh and I finally cleaned my windows after 3 ( or was it 4 ) years.

There are still some bits left to do , like getting a new water heater, as the old one is rusty and leaking now..why does one need a water heater in hot and humid singapore, well because we're pussies and cant shower with cold water..
and had to change one of the old taps that suddenly sprang a leak once the contractors replaced my fittings in the bathrooms, and no they werent about to give me a new tap.

nice accent tiles
welcome to my wet room




















The place still has a thin film of fine dust, after they hacked away at the bathroom tiles but I think another good mop of the place should do the trick. 
There are exposed copper pipes in the bathrooms ( HDB does not allow water pipes to be hidden in walls as our walls are concrete and tiled) but I kind of like those pipes and I had them painted white before so could do that some day. and the grouting work sucks..


Bathrooms in singapore especially in the HDB flats are tiny and more like wet rooms, they get wet all over when you shower, unless you spend money to box yourself into a minuscule shower cubicle.

But I got  new tiles and everything for an extremely low price and all in my home feels refreshed, like a new start, just like for me...





Tuesday 16 January 2018

nightmare

So today was the day the contractors would be fitting all the toilets and sinks ( the one they saved) and the accessories like towel rails, shower and bathroom cabinets (the one they broke).

But, there is always a but, they had not finished tiling my bathroom, it was impossible for the plumber to start.  I also had an issue with the section they blocked off for the shower area, it was too small to stand in and actually have a shower....
retiling today.. 
It was an exhausting day, i was yelling at them, getting riled up about wall plugs and fittings they had broke ( another thing they broke) and didnt tell me.

The best part was the plumbers supervisor telling me that the plumbing company will dock the workers pay for my broken bathroom cabinet.  I was horrified, and that supervisor knew he had a sucker on hand and he milked it.

 I found out later that docking the workers pay was illegal...
the lengths these contractors go to.. I was not amused!
Am i going to get my money for the cabinet... i dont bloody know!

So its been a nightmare day, for me and for the men working in my place today as I am sure I gave as good as I got.

Tomorrow is the final day and the handover... I hope there will be no more surprises...


Wednesday 10 January 2018

i want to go home

So the Housing Development Board (HDB) in Singapore is  the government body that builds and sells high rise flats for the populace.  They also run and organise the upgrading of the older estates.
Singapore mainly consists of housing that is made up of high rise condos and these HDB housing estates.  These HDB estates are called heartlands where the middle to lower income citizens live.  These government built flats are by no means cheap to purchase but cheaper than private developments in land scarce Singapore.

I bought my flat after my divorce in 1997, and have lived there for the last 20 years.  HDB first did upgrading to our lifts, we didn't have lifts stopping on every floor, but now do.  The most recent upgrading was to our bathrooms.  Those of us that didn't do any earlier renovations to the bathrooms could opt to participate in the upgrading exercise to have both bathrooms in the flat completely gutted, and refitted.

furniture all wrapped and covered ready for contractors
I changed my toilets and sinks a few years back and was pissed with myself and the HDB because I knew that I had to do this upgrade as my tiles were in need of an urgent upgrade and that would mean losing my relatively new toilets and sinks
With alot of begging and cajoling I managed to get them to promise to save my sink when they were going to demolish the bathroom.  I am glad to report that they managed to do that.....but they damaged my bathroom mirror cabinet (some call it a medicine cabinet), I get to go get a new one which they will pay for... and rightly so!
They also broke my bathroom ceiling light...

all covered up...scene from dexter..

The whole upgrading of my flat will take 9 days and as there are no functioning bathrooms in the flat, I moved to stay with Mum for the duration.  I have had to go each morning to my flat to unlock the doors, then to lock up again in the evening which is excellent exercise time for me... however I wonder about the flat being left open all day... i have no faith in my fellow man and I am hoping some delinquent wont go in and damage or steal anything from the place.  I have locked most of my items that can be carried out easily in the spare rooms but one never knows.....
gutted...









I am missing my home.  I am missing my space and its only day 3.  Its not just the space I am missing, I am missing being by myself.  I am also stressed that I have errands to run and things to do, and make sure I go open and lock up each day.  The control freak in me wont allow me to relinquish responsibility to someone to help with the locking up.  I am stressed, out of my comfort zone and I just want to go home....