Thursday 29 November 2012

good god we had a strike!

I live on the peaceful republic island called Singapore.
Our government has learnt to be a little relaxed in its rules and regulations (commandments) but we still have a very long way to go before free speech (which is overrated they tell me) and the right to protest (again I heard its overrated) are a norm.

We in Singapore have learnt to toe the line and through the years have become totally apathetic in regards to the rules, regulations, laws and whatnot.  We just don't care anymore as we aren't heard.  We may have elected our government in,  and the only reason we have done it, is because we never had a decent enough opposition party that we thought could measure up. We thought  ' well the current government has had a good track record, theres always growth, multi national companies come to our country to invest because we are stable and the government has a tight rein on all the happenings.'
So we plod on, we don't rock the boat.  we like our cushy existence, we like that the government does everything for us including thinking.

Our country was a migrant society, built by importing people from all over ( My great grand father came here from India because the British dangled a good salary for English speaking civil servants), and so it continues to today.  Singaporeans don't want to work as waiters, waitresses, cleaners, factory hands, we want the white collar jobs, we want to sit in offices and have air-conditioning blow up our asses all day. So we have to import labour to keep the economy going, to have enough people to work the blue collar jobs to keep the rest of us lazy asses in comfort.
So we imported people from India and Bangladesh, Thailand,  Myanmar and China to build our roads and work on construction sites.  We imported maids to clean our homes and be nanny to our children, from Indonesia and the Philippines. We imported people from China and Malaysia to drive our buses.  We brought in  all these people to make sure wages were kept low, to make sure MNC's stayed as we were a cheap place to do business.  We began to see them as 'drones' not people.  We didn't talk to them, we didn't interact with them, we didn't appreciate them.
we didn't treat them very well.  we still don't.

So what happens when you  import people that don't follow the rules, you get the imported bus drivers from China going on strike about living conditions and salary.......

the times they are a changing.............



Tuesday 27 November 2012

too rude to be paid or not interesting enough

My sole intention when I started writing this blog was an outlet for all the voices in my head.  To put thought and weird rumblings on paper/computer.  That is why I chose blogger.com (and because getting a domain name then registering it and creating a website was beyond my limited knowledge)
Then slowly as people began to notice my blog (or was it just that I was shamelessly promoting myself ) I got all excited as I watched the stats go up.
So I thought yes, perhaps I could make a little extra money from this.
But no, my hopes were dashed.  My dreams of being world famous and earning a living by writing on this, my electronic head space, were cruelly snatched away from me when blogger.com's adsense rejected my blog, as their specialists don't think I meet their criteria.

My first rejection....... painful.
I did wonder what their criteria was, and If I should try to be more politically correct and write about fashion or restaurant reviews or that sort of 'normal' stuff and not use the word fuck so often. I actually thought about that for a whole fucking minute, then thought..... Fuck this.
I need to learn how to set up my own website


Monday 26 November 2012

its been a bit windy

No not the weather but me...
Singapore has a long way to go before the Gluten intolerant get to eat out like everyone else.
I have had too many dinner invitations ( oh lovely a social life....well not quite) and those invitations always will ask you about dietary restrictions. I have put down gluten intolerant but no one seems to know what to do with that information.
I recently went on a work trip and I think thats when the "its ok,  its only a couple of days of gluten" started.
During the trip, gluten free food was no where in sight and I had little choice.  I avoided most of the obvious gluten, but the hidden suckers is what got me. Soy sauce contains wheat, gluten,  and in Asian cooking, there is a motherload of soy sauce.

After that came the Festival of Lights (Diwali) an Indian festival, and some bright spark (sister no 1 and no pun intended!) thought it would be fun to get together to make the little biscuits and sweets.  And they all contain wheat.
I have been bad, eating everything.
Movie night with the girls..... hell yes,with a bucket of popcorn, wheres the gluten there?  Corn isnt supposed to have gluten but in the sugary coating there is!  So I may have to go salty and not sweet when having popcorn!
Vinegar, tomato ketchup, mustard,  all things I love but have been told to avoid as it may contain wheat, but its hard.  I do check labels and have found wheat starch on some but gluten in distilled Vinegar is still an ongoing debate.  Its hard for me, I bloat, I get gassy and its painful and uncomfortable. I cant go out drinking without wanting to nibble on things, things like meatballs or chicken wings ( breabcrumbs and soy sauce).  Unless I carry my own tupperware full of gluten free snacks, maybe that is what I should try?

So the battle to find gluten free food when eating out, wages on.  In the meantime I just have to do my best to avoid the obvious, and if it gets a bit more windy than usual...... so be it!



Sunday 25 November 2012

the taxi driver

When I started writing this blog, I knew I would eventually have to write about this Singaporean phenomenon.
Taxi drivers, a phenomenon you ask?  Maybe its a world wide phenomenon ( I have used that word, phenomenon, three times in one paragraph and I fucking cant spell it!)
But yes in Singapore they are revered, hated, always in the papers and they can either make or break your whole day.  If you want to know what's wrong with the economy or the government, just ask a Singaporean cabby.

I have had taxi drivers flirt with me, chat me up, yell at me, grumble about the government (most do this) and of course give advice.
My recent adventure was just another normal day out and the taxi driver was very pleasant and started going on about fate, life and stuff and I thought, " oh shit another weird cabby"  but he started analysing me through his rear view mirror.
"I had nice white strong teeth, was I a teacher?  When I speak, people will listen, etc and that I should wear lipstick, it makes my face vibrant"
Me:  But I had a boyfriend who didn't like me wearing lipstick
TD:  You aren't married ( he probably thought, shit middle aged and not married)
Me:  Divorced
TD: When were you born
Me:  1962
TD:  Boyfriend?
Me:  1966
TD:  Aiyah Cannot!!  younger men not good, they only want your body.  He doesn't want anything else.
Me: well that's why he is the ex boyfriend, if he ever was even a boyfriend at all
TD:  You have to find someone born in 1958 or 1959. As we get older, its about sharing that's what we want.

Bloody hell he got it right.  the bit about sharing. That was the main thing missing with A, sharing our lives.
Sigh .... do I now have to get a man's date of birth before I even consider dating him?

Probably not, good to listen to all these soothsayers, fun actually,  but do I want to live my life how someone else thinks it should be?  Good advice I am sure, but I was never any good at doing what I was told.


Friday 23 November 2012

common sense and movies

A check on Wikipedia (they know everything) shows that Singapore is not the only country in the world to place a ban on some movies being shown.
The one that surprised me was Ireland banning a couple of Monty Python movies!  Tongue in cheek and full of satire and I can see why they would,  but seriously?
Texas Chainsaw Massacre seems to be on a lot of banned lists!
One recent case of movie banning in Singapore  had alot of people up in arms.  (see article)
 http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/entertainment/view/1230340/1/.html

I am Indian, proud to be Indian but I am not afraid to laugh at myself or my race.  I know we are different, I know we all have different habits.  Every single person is defined by their race and its our  race and culture that plays a big part on how we are brought up, idiosyncrasies and all.  The locally made movie in question was banned because of some of the remarks  a character in the film made about Indians.

Our government needs to be able to balance the heavy handedness with some soft gloved approach.  Yes its volatile and having all the different races get along is a major task and so far the heavy handedness has worked.
But, isn't it time they (the government) gave us some credit?
I can understand their reluctance, to assume that everyone has that common sense gene in them.  I know for a fact that common sense isn't so common, but I would like to see some rules relaxed in our nanny state.  What would happen if the movie was shown, there would be the humourless, sour people who cant laugh at themselves, get all upset about the movie and how Indians are depicted.  But I bet these same people would be the ones talking about other races in a not so nice way.
Would the screening of this movie incite race riots in Singapore? No I don't think so.  After all we were just voted  the most emotionless people in the world! http://www.todayonline.com/Singapore/EDC121123-0000060/Emotions-not-taking-over.  We aren't really emotionless, just apathetic.

Anyway...
There was a petition going around, which I signed, to allow the movie to be screened.  One can hope that the powers that be will listen and allow us to judge for ourselves if any race or feelings were  hurt during the making of the film!

Wednesday 21 November 2012

the engagement

Son no 1 got engaged last week.
He is going to get married and be a husband.
My baby will be someone's husband

and even more exciting and interesting..... I will be a mother in law!
Holy crap!


Monday 19 November 2012

the new TV

3D LED 46 inches smart TV
Its bloody marvellous, well it would be if I knew how to operate it....

Son no 2 and I went shopping recently for a new TV and we got one that had all the new fangled gadgetry.
You could surf the internet, play youtube on it, stick your thumbdrive in it and watch movies that you download, watch everything in high definition and in 3D.
We even got 2 free pairs of 3D glasses with it!
Now all I need to do is learn how to use all the functions.

 I can switch it on, I know how to switch to the different cable operators ( Singapore is probably the only country where the consumer is the loser with 2 cable operators with 2 different set  boxes, so you have to switch channels on the TV to get different cable stations), and I know how to switch to the DVD channel.  Thats about it, oh wait I do know how to turn the volume up and down!
So its a situation where the smart TV is as smart as the user.....and in my case that would be a not so smart TV.   I am, like many people my age (oh god I am using my age as an excuse), with a phobia about all things high tech.  I refuse to give up my old Nokia phone because I dont want a smartphone (same problem of smartphone vs smart person) but how long can I remain ignorant.
So its lesson time and Son no 2 has promised to walk me through the whole process of going online on the TV and even how to load the movies off the thumbdrive etc etc

So my new 46 inches of glorious wall mounted visually stimulating gadgetry will be my new best friend as I learn which buttons to push and wait for all the delights that it brings. I am already dizzy in anticipation  of watching my music and other documentaries on that 46 inch HD screen,  imagine Jimmy Page and Jack Black (shit I meant Jack White!!)  in High Definition!  So many visual possibilities!!
I wonder if there is 3D porn?


5 ways to get a date when you're 50


  1. Ask your children if any of their friends parents are divorced.
  2. Hang out at the senior centre
  3. Walk past coffee shops (in Singapore coffee shops are not the trendy places to be, but rather the cheap neighbourhood places) in tight dresses to attract the old men that hang out there
  4. Join a senior dating site
  5. Check the obituaries for Widowers
Is that my reality now?  I see older attractive men dating/with women 10 years younger.  I have talked about this before, the ageism in dating.  If older men are dating women 10 years younger, do I need to look at 60 year old's to date now.
I have been out with a couple of them that were 60.
One happened very recently.  He was fussy and boring but with nice manners.  That's the nicest thing I have to say about him. Yes manners matter but so do common interests.  I would hope that the person I meet/date would have at least the same interests as me. Movies, I like watching movies, this last date said he fell asleep during movies, liked boring elevator music (Kenny G and Michael Bolton!!) and only watched Golf on TV!  I felt myself dying inside when he rattled off his interests.  A picture flashed in my mind, of us sitting in front of the TV watching Golf with dinner trays on our knees, boring, staid, old!  The other end of the spectrum is the 60 year old that over does it.  Super fit, tanned and trying to keep up with a younger woman, trying too hard!
The younger man, well not so much younger, about 5 years give or take close to my age - there are some out there that do want to date women around the same age as them. They are harder to find.  Or maybe I am looking in all the wrong places.  If I hung out at places that held my interest, the next man I date would be a motorcycle riding, leather wearing, Tattooed, blues/rock musician with a philosophical outlook on life,  someone that looked like the character Sam Elliot played in the Big Lebowski (the Stranger)  A little messy, a little un-kept.  A little weird 

Where on earth am I going to find  a man like that in sterile Singapore!


Saturday 17 November 2012

another saturday at the supermarket

the weekly shopping ritual of getting all the stuff I need to cook and feed myself and the son

its the usual throng of people pushing, shoving, glaring, grabbing and with kids running around in the aisles and old people strolling through aisles like its a museum visit to enjoy the exhibits.
They annoy me, the make me want to be rude to old people and children, and I don't usually do that but on a Saturday, in a crowded supermarket, I want to hurt someone.

To top it off today I witnessed the art of checkout line hogging.  How does one do that.
One makes sure one goes to the market with 3 people minimum.  Once shopping is done and basket/trolley is full, you pick 3 lines and wait.  You wait and see which of you get to the cashier first then you drag that heavy trolley or basket and hightail it to the cashier.
And to make it all worse, I forgot to buy chocolates, sugar that is required to keep me happy !



Wednesday 14 November 2012

a few days to wallow and indulge in self pity

I am stressed.  I am taking on too much and I can feel myself heading towards total collapse.  I know the symptoms, its happened before.  I put myself in a position where I take on way too much and then cant handle it, I don't ask for help, I think I can do it all, I think that if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
It started with my sisters visit. It was nice seeing her but there was tension between her, my brother and his wife.  There is a lot of history between those siblings of mine but I asked my brother to be nice to her.  When the drama started I felt like I had invited it as I asked her to come visit mum.  Totally stupid I know. I also don't like conflict and I wish everyone would just get along!
Then I try to be the perfect mother.  I cook, run around to make sure the son has nutritious meals and do his laundry.  I put myself in the position where I feel guilty if I don't have good meals all ready and waiting for him.  I feel guilty if I don't do the laundry as poor boy is working so hard, I should do his laundry so he can relax.  I forget that I too need to relax.  I run all the errands, do all the grocery shopping, do all the nitty gritty bits and don't ask him for help.
And now with all the drama with A, I am feeling worn out.  I need a day or two or three to do nothing. No errands, no cooking, just to stay home in pajamas, eat chocolate and crisps, watch chick flicks and read and not pick up the phone and have to listen to Mum go on and on.  To  hide beneath the covers and declare war on all errands, responsibility and work!

Tuesday 13 November 2012

does it say sucker on my forehead?

Last night after work I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up dental floss and a couple of other bits.   As usual when in a store that stacks bottles and rows of cheap nail polish and make up, I go glassy eyed and browse through all the stuff I will never use.
This time I did have a purpose, I needed a new eye brow pencil and pink everyday wear lipstick.
I got caught though, by one of those girls that lurk at these counters, waiting for any unsuspecting clueless women to come by and they pounce

helpful miss:  " Hi miss, can I help you"

Me:  Err no just browsing

HM:  You Looking for Lipstick? "  smart girl noticed me testing lipstick colours

I warn you now,  it didn't end well, I ended up buying a palette of pink lipsticks in a small tray, that were too glossy and I am sure in the conversation with the helpful miss, I mentioned matte several times!
She also noticed the eyebrow pencil clutched in my paws and went on to show me her range of pencils - I ended up getting two of those.  Then she started on my dark circles under the eyes, and as we were now bosom buddies, she thought she could mention how dark they were and did I use concealer?  (those that know me, know I don't use any make up except for moisturiser, eye pencil and lipstick, that ends the range of my makeup skills too)
I must have been in a damn good mood as I let her show me how to apply concealer and I even bought a bloody tube.
I thanked her and was about to turn away, when she managed to wrestle my purchases from me and she led me to her 'other' counter to look at the new eye cream range.  I let her give me the full spiel but politely refused any more products ( see I can say no...)  but then she started on something totally different

HM:  Miss how about this product, Its very good you know, its for washing"
Me:  Washing?  Washing what?
HM:  You know washing for women, your private parts
Me:  Washing what!!?
I was by how horrified, how the hell did we go from eye creams to vaginal washes?  Did she detect odour??
I think I sniffed the air just to see if there was any!
 Me:  Er no thanks I don't use this
HM:  its very good you know, must try, I have plenty customers who buy and they say its very good, I also use this!
Wonderful we are comparing notes on feminine hygiene now!
Me:  Er no really but no thanks, I got to go now
HM:  Ok next time then, you come buy and must try this, its really good.

I took another big sniff to just to confirm that I smelt nothing and left.... quickly before she tried to sell me anything else!

Monday 12 November 2012

sisters & brothers

The last time my sisters and I were together was 15 years ago. All four of us in the same place at the same time. It doesnt happen often as they all moved away and lived overseas so having them all here at the same time is pretty special.
In order of birth - left to right,Sis 1,me, sis3, only brother, twin  missing




Saturday 10 November 2012

shame on me

"fool me once and shame on you, fool me twice and shame on me"
So I got fooled again,  played for a fool, fooled to the bloody max.

With A messaging me in August about trying to see how we could compromise, I thought lets see, I didn't realise that he wanted me to do all the compromising.
I actually thought that he was up for the challenge and wanted to see how we could BOTH compromise,
 I thought I was sensible, I thought I wasn't naive, I thought lets give him the benefit of the doubt.  Lets go back and bloody shag the man.
Yes I deserve the new name "fool"
Yes I deserved to be laughed at, cos I am an idiot of the highest order.
To top if off, the icing on the fucking cake with a cherry on top,  he tells me "he respects me, he does not belittle me or look down on me at all.  he values what we had and my friendship,  he respects my wishes and is truly sorry that it ended like this."

Its trite, its patronising as it was him that got in contact to see how we could compromise and now he tells me that he  cant commit.  I was the fool to assume that he was willing to compromise.
I have been compromising, I thought I could do the arrangement like he wanted, until I realised that it wasnt enough.  Is it fair for me to expect him to compromise now?
 Time to walk away from him totally and not cling to memories of him and how he makes me feel when I am in his arms. Time to find a man who does want to be with me,  without me having to bargain for what I want.  I am tired of bargaining, tired of not having a more normal relationship where my man is willing to spend time with me doing normal stuff, to meet my family and friends.  I am tired of being the fool.




“Love? Sodding, bloody, tossing, bloody, sodding, bloody love? Irrelevant, superfluous, bloody, ruddy, rotten, sodding love? What ho? Wherefore? What the fuck? Love?” 
― Christopher MooreFool

Friday 9 November 2012

online shopping virgin deflowered

I am just like every other woman, I love to shop.
I love walking through shops and stores to see the new and enticing displays of things I dont need but want.
My favourite is of course any shop that has knick knacks and interesting things for the home or kitchen.  I can browse for hours looking at  new bakeware, cooking utensils, teapots, bathroom accessories, anything with candles.  I can browse for hours!

 I still like walking through a store and touching things and feeling each item.  Clothes and shoes are something I need to try on before I buy.  So the whole online thing hasnt really got me that excited.  However, I recently had my first foray into the world of online shopping.  I bought 2 dresses.
They haven't arrived yet, which is another mark against online shopping for me, as it has been 4 weeks since I made the order, and I still haven't received my purchases.  I wait expectantly for my purchases to arrive, I track the bloody parcel on the website, I cant wait to touch and feel the dresses and of course to try them on to see if they fit.  The waiting is what is killing the whole experience.
 I like to bask in the afterglow of a shopping trip.  You get home all tired and happy, then make a cup of tea and sift through the bags, going through all your purchases, trying on the clothes again just in case. It just makes the whole experience.
 So perhaps online shopping is not for me, perhaps I should confine myself to the real experience of shopping in the real world.....

And what do I do, I go online again but this time buy books.............


Thursday 8 November 2012

corporate social responsibility

Its becoming part and parcel of everyday life.  CSR.  Corporate Social responsibility.  On this trip, we are doing our bit as well.
Before we went on our CSR portion of this trip, we of course had been treated like VIP's, to the extent of having a choir singing goodbye to us when we left one resort for the next to having lunch at this fabulous Tepanyaki restaurant  with the best meat, scallops and prawns. Then after that,what do they do, they take us out to a workshop where we were supposed to help the blind varnish the baskets that they had weaved.
I was still stuffed from lunch and going there to see how the other half lives, saddened me.  It was a good lesson for me. I sat on the day bed in the room looking out at this view (see pic on the right) thinking that I had alot to be grateful for and I had better stop whining.

Time to stop being an ungrateful bitch and learn to appreciate what is.

Sunday 4 November 2012

river rafting..... me??

One part of the job I do like is that I get to visit places and stay in 5 star hotels way beyond my holiday budget will allow. This time I got to go to Kota Kinabalu and the whole 4 days are hosted by the hotel and the Sabah Tourism.  Its awesome.  they spoil you, take you around and I get to see a city that they want to showcase and attract meetings and seminars.
So far so good until we went rafting on the river.
I don't swim, didn't learn as a child and haven't bothered to learn it as an adult either, so off we went and I was determined to do this.
7 of us in a dingy, 2 of them were the river masters, more like fucking river comedians, as they thought capsizing the fucking dingy was hilarious.  Well they weren't laughing when they saw the other dingy hit me in the head and I went under.
If there was a class on how to drown, I would pass with flying colours.  During the safety briefing and the what to do should we capsize, I paid attention, close attention, but when it happened, I didn't retain a single coherent thought, I went under very quickly even with a life jacket on, then you stop panicking and actually remember what the river masters (comedians) told you and you think it will be ok, until the other fucking dingy hits you and drags you under it!!
So for a novice on the water, it was not  the best introduction one could have on the river, but it sure as hell was alot of fun!

UPDATE:  you know how 'they' tell you that you can drown in a few inches of  water, well I realised after the fact that I could in some bizarre accidental way, have drowned that day. Post accident realisation !!

Friday 2 November 2012

always late for work

I am finding it increasingly difficult to get out of the house on time every morning.
I am invariably late for work, 4 days out of 5!
That is just not me.  I am up early, usually by 6.30 am every morning and my travel time to work is 30 mins door to door, but I am still late! I procrastinate.  I sit and read the papers and have my coffee and waste time.  I read the blogs I follow, then have to pack my lunch and clean up the place a bit. It takes me a couple of hours to get going and out of the house.
And that's on a good day, and I barely make it to work on time!

What happens when I have a wardrobe meltdown, which happens quite often now as I cant seem to find anything to wear as my dresses don't fit anymore (although A says I should forget dresses and stick to jeans and tshirts as I look nice in jeans but  I cant wear jeans to lunches and cocktails!).  Anyway where was I, ah yes,  what happens when I have a wardrobe meltdown, I am very late for work!
So each morning it is a battle with the wardrobe to see what fits and if I actually want to wear that outfit, and lets not forget accessories and shoes!
Its getting ridiculous. I never used to be this way. I used to have one pair of shoes, one black skirt, one grey skirt, one black pair of corduroy jeans and a few tshirts and shirts.   It was easy getting dressed in the morning as the choice was limited.  But now I seem to have become a typical woman with too many clothes and shoes, and when faced with so many choices, I get indecisive.

Its an on going battle and while work is getting a little more challenging (its just not as boring) I still am not motivated to get my arse in gear and get to work on time!  Maybe I should quit and go live in some remote place where I can grow my own veg and raise a couple of chickens and get out of this fucking materialistic, narcissistic, me first world and I wont have to worry if my clothes and shoes look good enough for cocktails and lunches!  Now there's a thought!!