Friday, 23 March 2012

my fathers daughter

I grew up with 3  sisters and 1 younger brother.  Mum always favoured our brother and she still does and yes that still bothers me.  Dad did favour his daughters more but he wasnt around much so that meant that Mum ruled the roost.  My mother is one of those timeless beauties.  An extremely gorgeous woman.  My older sister looks very much like Mum and so does my younger sister.  The other sister is actually our cousin  but grew up with us, hence the title sister.  It was always very interesting for me as people loved to tell mum how beautiful she was and they would look at my sisters and say that they looked just like mum and were so pretty!  Then they would look at me..... and I would get the look over and they would say 'you look just like your Dad'
Dad, mum and yes thats me!
So I grew up thinking that i wasnt up to par with my sisters and their beauty.  It didnt bother me very much as I was different than them and I liked being different.  I wasnt as social as them, I wasnt as normal as them.  I have always been darker, emotionally and intellectually.  I was also sick often, with really bad asthma.  Which in a way made me more of a loner as I couldnt run around and play with my siblings.  I listened to rock, while they listened to mainly pop music, I watched different type of movies, I read different types of books.  I was different.  there was a time I thought I must be adopted (but then i realized every teenager thought that!!)  I was socially awkward (still am to a degree) and I hated small talk and till today find it hard to strike up a conversation with strangers.
Both my sisters have no problem doing that, like Mum.  I learnt I was like Dad.  Straight talking, no nonsense, dark, moody, a loner and just different and of course I look just like him.  I have his smile (all of us actually have his smile), his eyes, his eyebrows, his look.  He was a complicated man, and I know I am a complicated woman, I inherited his way at looking at things and sizing things up.  we never speak first, we listen.
Till today Mum will say " you're just like your father"  and you know what, I like it when she says that.  I am after all my fathers daughter!

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