Friday, 3 February 2012

what our mothers should have told us

My sisters and I never had that chat with our mother.  We found out about the birds and the bees through school ( those infamous videos of why we bleed every month) and even then it was never very thorough and it didn't address the sexuality aspect of it.
It was only the bare facts that "this is what happened to women and stop asking why".  We found out by ourselves how babies were made and how babies came out (i have had 2 kids and I still wonder how the hell a baby can come out of "there").  Sex was never discussed and as sisters we didn't talk to each other about what was happening in our exploration of the same.  So here is my list of things that I wish my mother had told us.

1.  Sex is not a dirty word, and what you do behind closed doors with your partner is up to you.  There is no right or wrong.
2.  Don't sleep with every man you date (and no i did not do that!)  and don't marry the first man you sleep with (that I did!)
3.  Sex without feeling something for your  partner,  is empty.
4.  Sex when you are twenty is different to sex in your 40's.  It gets better!!
5.  Your Body will change as you get older, and when you have kids it does change alot!!
6.  You will not have that rush of maternal instinct when you give birth, you probably don't want to look at that crying weird looking thing that the nurses insist on putting on your breast!
7.  Marriage is hard work.  it takes two to make it work, it also takes compromise, willingness to change and a damn good sex life
8.  Your pubes will turn white too, just like the hair on your eyebrows will too
9.  You have no idea who you are until after 35
10.  It is not the end of the world if you don't have a boyfriend/husband all the time with you.  Being alone is not scary
11.  Menopause is real!  it happens to all of us, and it starts with your eyesight.
12.  Menopause makes women cranky, bloated, suddenly have a beer belly, forgetful and have hot flushes,  there is no cure for it but you can manage it. 
13.  Crying is good for you, but do it with a friend
14.  Trim your pubes or better still wax and do it often!
15.  Know your own body, if you don't,  how on earth do you expect a man to
16.  Masturbation is good for u!
17.  BOB - is short for battery operated buddy - buy one!
18.  Buy lingerie for your man and remember they don't care about the wobbly bits
19.  You do not always end up like your mother

this post will be updated as I gain new insights each day

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