So I have been seeing Ice Cream man pretty regularly, once a week with some breaks when he was away etc but its been sort of regular.
Last night he invited me over to his flat for dinner, he made melon and prosciutto for starters and we got takeaway pizza.
It was a bit awkward at his place as he sat as far away from me as possible. I don't know if he was nervous or that he didn't want me to think that he was going to pounce on me so he sat far away We chatted and ate and shared a bottle of bubbly, but there was no physical contact at all. None. At the end of the night it was more awkward as I think he wanted to kiss me but didn't know how to approach that. Frankly neither did I.
However, I was relieved he didn't kiss me or try anything.
Which brings me to the question, Why do I feel so awkward, Why can I not move on and let someone else into my life!
So I am going to jump the gun here and tell him that I am not ready for a relationship. I am going to stop seeing him. I cant do it, I cant move on yet.
What the fuck is wrong with me!!
I seem to have found myself in another fine mess.............