Thursday, 6 December 2012

missing a piece of the puzzle

I sometimes act smug and think I know it all.
I usually shoot my mouth off without thinking and then I end up with egg on my face.  I recently declared that I was complete, I had nothing more in my life I wanted.  I didn't  need a man, I was my own person etc etc.  Bull bloody shit!
Recent events have shown that I am far from complete. There is still this little bit of empty left inside me. A little bit of empty that needs to be filled up.
With A not wanting to have a relationship, I have had to evaluate my needs versus my wants.  Its not that I need a special someone, I want a special someone in my life.  I am sad that A didn't want to be that person but I know I will not be able to have a half relationship that he wants.

I miss not having anyone to share things with.  the mundane, the exciting, the painful.  When something funny or interesting happens, I don't have that automatic person I want to call and share it with.
I don't have that pair of arms to fall into  when I am sad or afraid or just want to be held.  That's the part that is missing.  I am an independent, confident woman but sometimes I don't want to be that person.  Sometimes I want someone to take charge and look after me for a bit.

I have no idea if I ever will find that person to share my life with, to be that little bit of the missing puzzle.

No comments:

Post a Comment