I sometimes act smug and think I know it all.
I usually shoot my mouth off without thinking and then I end up with egg on my face. I recently declared that I was complete, I had nothing more in my life I wanted. I didn't need a man, I was my own person etc etc. Bull bloody shit!
Recent events have shown that I am far from complete. There is still this little bit of empty left inside me. A little bit of empty that needs to be filled up.
With A not wanting to have a relationship, I have had to evaluate my needs versus my wants. Its not that I need a special someone, I want a special someone in my life. I am sad that A didn't want to be that person but I know I will not be able to have a half relationship that he wants.
I miss not having anyone to share things with. the mundane, the exciting, the painful. When something funny or interesting happens, I don't have that automatic person I want to call and share it with.
I don't have that pair of arms to fall into when I am sad or afraid or just want to be held. That's the part that is missing. I am an independent, confident woman but sometimes I don't want to be that person. Sometimes I want someone to take charge and look after me for a bit.
I have no idea if I ever will find that person to share my life with, to be that little bit of the missing puzzle.