I missed him this time, when he was away. We have had our ups and downs in our attempt of a relationship, the downs were difficult as we couldn't decide what we wanted or where this was going. We still don't know, and I am learning to accept the fact that I cant control all situations (I am trying really hard!!)
We don't live in each others pockets and we aren't really boyfriend and girlfriend. It is a relationship, its exclusive, its committed in some way, but its not. It is also so much more than just friends with benefits. Am I making sense? ........ I doubt it, but so far it works. Which is why missing him this time was frightening.
Its frightening because there seems to be a shift and I cant explain it. I have not missed him this way before, I could blame him I suppose, as he has been a lot more caring and nice. So really it is his fault for being nice to me! God help men, if I as a woman can't understand how we rationalise things, what chance do the men have??
But....What we have works and I don't want to fuck it up. All I know is that I missed him.