Friday, 20 January 2012

missed him

I missed him this time, when he was away.  We have had our ups and downs in our attempt of a relationship, the downs were difficult as we couldn't decide what we wanted or where this was going.  We still don't know, and I am learning to accept the fact that I cant control all situations (I am trying really hard!!)

We don't live in each others pockets and we aren't really boyfriend and girlfriend.  It is a relationship,  its exclusive, its committed in some way, but its not.  It is also so much more than just friends with benefits.  Am I making sense? ........ I doubt it,  but so far it works.  Which is why missing him this time was frightening. 
Its frightening because there seems to be a shift and I cant explain it.  I have not missed him this way before, I could blame him I suppose,  as he has been a lot more caring and nice.  So really it is his fault for being nice to me!  God help men, if I as a woman can't understand how we rationalise things, what chance do the men have??
But....What we have works and I don't want to fuck it up.  All I know is that I missed him.

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