Tuesday, 1 October 2013

musical poetry....the heartbreak playlist

I have always loved music.  Words especially.  Words, that  are the poetry of the modern world.  Words that make me happy, words that understand and empathise with my pain, heartbreak, and joy.  I have found comfort in music and the words several times over the years.
When I left my husband,  Alanis Morrisette's album Jagged Little Pill,  helped me get through the first few months of a very very painful divorce. The raw pain in those words and the anger, especially the anger, helped.  I know many people who make fun of that album but......

There are songs I cant listen to because it reminds me of my ex, and Pearl Jams' Betterman is one of the songs that I find  hard to listen to, even though I love Pearl Jam (its a song about domestic abuse) and there are songs that speak volumes about my own heartbreak.  It tells me that I am not alone in feeling hurt, vulnerable and can physically feel my heart break into bits.

So when A and I went through our seesaw non relationship/relationship these past few years, it was music that helped pull me through (apart from ranting and raving over the phone with the twin).  The sad songs, the angry songs, the getting over him songs.  The understanding it all, songs.  The heartbreak play list......

Going to California - led zeppelin
I'm not the one - The Black Keys (i should have listened better and read between the lines to what A was saying)
I want you - Bob Dylan
Romeo & Juliet - Dire Straits
Back to Black - Amy Winehouse
Kissing a fool - George Michael  (classic!)
Brain Damage - Pink Floyd (this isn't really about love but it helped!)
Make you feel my love - Adele (Bob Dylan's words)
With or without u - U2 (the usual I cant live without u song....)
All I want is U - U2
Things ain't like they used to be - The Black Keys
Lovers eyes - Mumford & Sons
Summer Son - Texas
Back to the house that love built - Tito & The Tarantulas
Ballad of a thin Man - Bob Dylan (nothing to do with love or break up but...)
Keep me in your heart - Warren Zevon
One more cup of coffee - The white stripes (reminder of the movie coffee and cigarettes)
Comfortably numb - Pink Floyd
Little black Submarine - the black keys
Wasting my time - The white stripes
Babe I'm gonna leave u - Led Zep (seesaw relationship!)
Since I've been loving u - Led Zep (the guitar solos are excellent and plant singing is so emotive)
You cant always get what you want - The rolling stones ( self explanatory!!)
I fought Piranhas - The White stripes
Wasting my time  White stripes
I cant make u love me - Bonnie Raitt  (ultimate!)

The songs have helped heal the pain and like the last line in my favourite Led Zep song (Going to California) it helps me tell myself that things can get better.
"Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams, 
Telling myself it's not as hard, hard, hard as it seems.

Healing has taken a long time (as he keeps pulling me back and I follow) and I know that once you love someone that feeling doesn't go away, we just lock that part away and throw the key down a huge pit never to be found again.
I want to move on and find someone to love me back, someone who will make me his priority.  someone who can see me growing old (er) with him.
Another foray into online dating??......................
You tell em Bob!


  1. I know a few people who have had a great success with those sites such as Harmony. I assume you have similar sites in Singapore. find a reputable one and give it a go. Be careful, what have you got to lose, in a comfortable environment. Good luck. xxx Rae

    1. We do have some sites and I have tried them before, but in Singapore, for an Indian 51 year old woman, the pickings are slim....