Thursday, 17 November 2016

2 steps back

This past week has been a disaster, I have been sick for a week and it keeps getting worse.
Finally went back to the doctor yesterday to get antibiotics and I headed home to rest.

Rest didnt quite happen as some fucker decided to renovate his home and it was jack hammer day yesterday... today is drilling day, how fun..

As I lie on the sofa, watching mindless drivel on the tv ( cant be bothered to try to watch anything else as the drilling and jack hammering means my headache is getting worse by the second)
I have to think about my future too.

When I switched jobs last year, I took a pretty hefty pay cut, but I worked a 4 day week and only one  job to do.  Then in May, the company asked if I would take over the office manager position as well.  I didnt quite think that through but accepted the job with more pay.  Now, the office I work in is a rather peculiar place , as Feng Shui plays a very important part in the overall scheme of things.  Which means as office manager I was worrying about trivial things that the boss thought were the most important.

I was worrying about water features that didn't quite work and the water feature's bubbles were  responsible for the decline of business ( dont laugh) , yellowing bamboo plants that meant that something bad will happen, lava lamps with bulbs no one carried and I had to run around finding bulbs and salt jars that had to be filled just right.
I do have an assistant to help me with all this but the constant worry about these things plus I had to battle with finance on cheques to pay the beer man (we have 3 beer taps in the office and I had to make sure they were full).  Add into the equation the fact that I had to sort the pantry, clear and organise the stationery store and of course the event store for props and things we use for events.

what i feel like doing
It took its toll on me.  I think back to why I took this job and it was so that I could spend more time doing things for me, and I seem to have lost my way.  I was not sleeping because of a stupid water feature's bubbles were not working. The one we ordered would only be delivered in 5 weeks and the boss was not happy.  So I quit.  well there was alot of yelling and although everyone says he wasnt yelling at me, as office manager I took the responsibility for the thing not working.  I take things to heart, I certainly do and I took this too personally, which is one of my weaknesses. Something i have to work on but at 54 do I really care....

the office MD and the COO spoke to me on Monday to ask me if I wanted to just go back to doing what I originally wanted to do, but I would go back to my original salary.
Now that pissed me off.  After one year of clearing up all the shit ( and there was alot to organise and clear) they want to keep me but as I was stressed all the time, it made sense for them to offer me this, but I felt hurt and a little insulted that they didn't seem to value me enough to offer me a bit more.
I got the usual talk about budgets for admin salaries blah blah and how the economy was doing and I was not the only one working so hard blah blah.

Which brings me to the question if I should stay or leave.  Am I being unreasonable to ask for a little more than what I was making or do I just suck it up and wait and see if in the new year, we get increments across the board.

I will probably stay, but i have to constantly remind myself to not give my usual 200%, I have to focus and give only what is expected as giving 200% always puts me on the losing end.
I am supposed to be looking at semi retirement now so a 4 day week and focusing on one job should be an ideal situation, so why  do I feel like I am taking 2 steps back.....

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