Tuesday, 13 September 2011

how horrible can a first date be

I am sure there are many out there that have had worse experiences but.......
As I am back on the market (how I hate that phrase) I am determined to write about all my first dates and all my one date wonders.  I joined the online dating websites a few weeks ago and as usual I get a lot of interest from younger men, men in far away places ( like the US and Canada) and men who really don't appeal to me.  Filtering has to happen of course, learning to spot the scammers, the con artists and the married men of course.  There is a standard email from these "scammers"   its always a man who has been widowed and has a daughter, and they begin their first contact with " how beautiful you are and like an angel and all that crap.  yes its crap
Majority of women do see through the bull dust, but there are those that get caught in the trap and get cheated.  So I filter the messages on the websites,I decipher the messages and then I chat with some of the men.  How long is an appropriate time to wait before we arrange a first date?  I have no idea.  If alarm bells aren't ringing in my head, I usually meet with them pretty quickly and then the first date happens!!
Where to go on a first date?  Drinks or dinner? Drinks in a popular bar is preferred, in a central location where one can get a taxi at the end of the night is the best bet.  Why?  So that you can escape as soon as possible if that date turned out to be boring, horrible or just scary!
You meet at the bar, you realise he doesn't look at all like his picture, and when you ask him he admits that the picture was taken 5 years ago.  and of course you are thinking wow , in 5 years hes aged 15!  The conversation is slow, you try to prompt a conversation with open ended questions that do not require monosyllable answers, but somehow he still manages to stick to one word replies!  Or you meet at the bar, and he looks better in person and his eyes light up when he sees you.  conversation flows fast and freely and he says at the end of the night that he will call.......... does he call, no!
you meet at the bar, he looks better in person and you have this wonderful time, and end up snogging him in some park in the middle of the city!
Its all about the first date bravado..... all that posturing and pretense that goes into the ritual of dating.  Watch animal planet and you will see how the males posture and preen infront of the females of the species and my god it feels the same in real life human interaction!    So I have had my fair share of horror stories of first dates.  Like the man who wouldnt order me a second drink during dinner, the waiter had to ask me if I wanted another drink, or the one that thought I would go back to his hotel room to get some chocolates he bought me, or the one that stuck his tongue down my throat when saying goodbye at the train station.
These were the dates that the minute I met them I already knew it wasnt going to go anywhere. To be polite I sat through the whole date.  next time I won't..... but... will there be a next time?  I fear I may give up this whole charade and actually ask Mum to fix me up with that divorced son of that friend of hers! 
 I am going on another first date at the end of September, I didnt meet him online, I was introduced to him by a mutual friend.  Will it be better?  Have to wait and see I guess.

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