and pigs have flown

I have always let people walk all over me.

From my family, where my siblings ‘bully’ me into submission,  but it's really just that I can't be bothered to argue, so I let them have their victories on small issues but I do dig my heels in on causes I strongly believe in.

My son – who thinks I am giving him a hard time when I expect him to man up and pick up after himself and contribute to the household expenses.

A,  who I hope will want a relationship but meekly agree to just do it his way.

I allow them to lead me up the garden path and pull me by my nose ring like the cows,  (I do have a nose ring actually) in any direction they choose.  I let it slide as I don’t like the drama that comes with confrontation, but then after a few months of running around like a headless chicken for everyone, I tend to blow up.  Like the proverbial volcano.

 I have tried to talk to people to tell them to stop, that it's not working for me,  but the words seem to get stuck in my throat.  I don’t want them to get angry with me so I swallow it all up until the volcano blows.

 Its two extremes.  I am either passive or so aggressive, that I put Jeckyll and Hyde to shame.

I am trying to change that, I am trying to confront issues but it's not working…I sweep it under the carpet and hope the pile doesn't get too big, but it does, hence Vesuvius blows.

I need to stay calm and sit the son  down and be up front about his behaviour and up front with A and tell him what I want and see where the chips fall, and tell my family to back off a bit… yeah and pigs will fly...

Hmm is that a flying pig I see..