A's modus operandi is to allow me to fester in silence while I contemplate life without him. Then he will send me little messages once in a while, keeping me on my toes, allowing my heart to skip a beat when I see "new message from A" on my phone.
Then he will say sweet things, but what he ultimately wants to know is, if I am going out looking for a new man. My mistake is that I reply when he texts and I let him know that I wanted a relationship with him and not some other man. He knows then that I am still pining for him. That keeps him happy for a while and after that he will keep sending me messages reflecting on how good it was..... which inevitably ends with me telling him lets try again and I can separate feelings from what we do just so that I can have that one little piece of him. He is a master manipulator even if he says he isn't.
This has been going on since 2011, and I believed I had cured myself of him by the time I met P in 2013, but the cure was ineffective. I had not seen A in a year but I let him back in with texts and his sweet whisperings.
So today after a week of texts, I told A to delete my number as I will be deleting his, delete everything about me, as I cannot be friends with him, I cannot talk to him without wanting him.
|sounds like me....|
|Choc stage done......lots of choc|
I should have done it when I said no more, but deep inside, some stupid part of me thinks I can be friends with him without wanting him.... I need a kick up the backside.
I think being in my dark place is because of him,
5 stages of grief.... am I in the acceptance stage now I wonder...