new years eve

I have spent almost all New years eve alone...even when I was married and in company of family, i spent it alone.

When I was married, the husband would go off and spend new years eve at parties without me...I was home with my babies, and when I left him, the trend of being alone on new years eve, continued, except when family insisted I attended whichever party was happening.
I have welcomed the new year at the Club, at cousins, at mums, with family around me but when the clock struck 12, I always was alone.  I watched people kiss each other, and yes I envied them....its been years since I have been kissed by a man full on the lips to welcome the new year...actually I cant remember the last time that happened.

I have never felt a mans arms around me, holding me, telling me he loved me and that he looked forward to another year with me....

oh well, thats life...