Friday, 31 October 2014

standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams......

I find it really hard to make a decision.  I tend to mull over things and complicate everything in my mind.

I run each and every argument through my tiny little mind hoping to find some answers.  I toss the pros and cons around hoping that somehow the gods of decisive thinking will rule and show me the path I have to take.

I wish someone would tell me what to do, or perhaps steer me on to the right path with good advice..... Except that I dont take advice when I get it.

I guess decisions are based on knowing what I want.....herein lies the big problem....I have no fucking clue what I want.

I stand alone trying to figure out what I want, no one can tell me what to do, no one can make this decision for me.
I am afraid of making this decision.  I am afraid of the future.  I am afraid of what lies in wait for me after this decision is made.  Will I regret my decision?  I want things to be tied up neatly and no repercussions after I make up my mind.

But life holds no guarantees does it?  We take one path and never know what the other path would have been like, but human nature likes to wonder if the grass is actually greener on the other side......

For now I stand on a hill in my mountain of dreams telling myself its not as hard as it seems......but it is.....

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