packing up a life

 There comes a time in life when you have to make a decision.

I find myself at a junction, turn one way and change my life forever

Turn the other way and things remain the same.

Son no 1 has asked if I would like to go live with them in Canada… for a few months and to see if I like it there and maybe move there permanently.  I am torn. I have one son here and one far away from me.  But I have spent the last 10 years looking after son no 2 and pushing him from the sidelines.  Son no 1 has been away, first in Hawaii, then in Canada since 2007.  Its time  for me to go spend some time with him, but I will miss son no 2.. Just like I miss son no 1 when I am here...

The next question is what to do with the accumulated possessions one acquires living in a home for the last 23 years. This is the first home I built for my children after the divorce. The first home I have paid for with literally blood, sweat and tears.

But with Singapore being so transient, the home I bought will devalue in a few years.. yes the expensive high rise buildings we produced en masse, for the low and middle income to be able to afford to own their own homes will eventually be worth nothing. The Housing Development Board started with the best of intentions, the powers that be lost the plot a bit when they let the prices soar and become unaffordable to the lower income.  

Anyway I digress

Whether I leave for Canada or stay here, I will have to sell my current home and downsize to something manageable.  The thing is whether to rent out my flat for now and get a bit of income or just sell and invest some of the money to give me an income.  

I have 23 years worth of stuff… bowls, candles, telephones ( I have 3 antique dial phones) books, photos, glassware, WTF do I do with the glassware I have collected… some are antiques, like the glassware from SIA of the 1970’s.   My dad’s old beer mugs… sentimental shit I want to keep..

I think I should stop listing the things down, I feel an anxiety attack coming on.

But you get the drift.. I have done it before, starting from scratch after the divorce, this time its happier circumstances, but its still about packing up my life.