being grateful

Its hard to be grateful when you think the world is conspiring against you. 2020 has been shit for lots I am sure.

But I have things to be grateful for.  I am still employed and with work coming back gradually, I am  back at work with no cuts to my salary in October.

I have a roof over my head, I have savings which  I managed to add to, even with pay cuts and tightening of the belt.

Yes I have had a shit September with having my 4 wisdom teeth out and complications with one side and managed to get the dreaded dry socket and gum infection which I still have and am on the same steroids as Trump is on, Dexamethasone, which does make one a bit crazy.. 

But I also had insurance to cover 80% of the dental costs so that's a silver lining.

I recently connected with an old school friend which drove home how lucky I am. I haven't met up with her for over 40 years, just said a few words on FB as one does these days.  It was time for a meet up.  J married late and had 2 sons.  her second son was born with complications, cerebral palsy, blind in one eye being just 2 of the main things and he required constant care.  She quit her good paying job in the bank and looked after him for 16 years.  He passed away 8 years ago.  Caregiving is a tough job, you lose yourself, you lose relationships with your nearest and dearest like her husband who felt neglected and instead of taking up some of the duties, left her to it.  2 years ago her husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and she is back to being the primary caregiver again.

She has spent the better half of her years caring for everyone else yet she is  bubbly, caring, sweet, still has her faith in God and ready to face the world and her lot.  She is such an inspiration to me.  Telling her about my shit marriage was peanuts compared to what she has been through. We all have options, she could have walked away from her husband years ago but she knew her sons needed him around.  She chose to stay and take on the caregiving again.

So I will try to stop moaning about my life because I have got it good, I will be grateful for small and big.  Because looking at my life, I am grateful.