why do we remain friends with an ex, because we hope someday that the ex will realise what a mistake it was to let us go and want to be with us again..
well thats what I have been doing.
with A with P
holding onto to something hoping one day something will happen
it doesnt.
the reasons we split up are still there and they dont go away, they dont miraculously resolve themselves. All it does is to hinder moving on. I have not been able to move on from A and from P.
Hoping one of them would suddenly realise I was the one that got away.
It stopped me from wanting to meet new people, to date again and to pick up and start making a new life for myself.
Its been really hard facing up to the truth of firstly how I felt about those 2 men, then the fact that I had to sever all ties and stop pretending that we could be friends.
I hated hearing about how P was off in Europe without me, living his life (he says he isnt happy but he made the decision to not make a go of it with me) The thing with P was that I adored him, he was like my best friend, someone I trusted and wanted to be with, in the beginning I pulled away and said lets just be friends.
P then very quickly found another girlfriend and I did feel that he was just into me as a friend as he found someone else so quickly. Then when he split with the new girlfriend, we started hanging out more. that was when I really started to fall for him, but he left for Monaco...
So I figured I didnt have anyone, might as well just go get what I could from A..
Just sex and nothing more... but I was with A, on and off from 2009, and it was hard to get him out of my system.. I made excuses to have him in my bed just one more time..
A is a different kettle of fish though, he just wasnt into me and I wasted so many years not listening to my instincts and thinking if only.. He did take advantage of how I felt about him to get what he wanted. He was callous, dismissive and brutal, and I let him do that to me.
My instinct was always to get as far away from A as possible, but he knew what buttons to push to bring me back to him.
I have written about A so many times, how I say no more and swear that I will never go back.. I delete his number and when he texts a few months later, I am like a woman dying of thirst, given that first drop of cool water..
I want to move on. for my sanity I have to move on. I want a partner in life, I want that person that I wake up with every morning. I know relationships are hard and i am naive that I think that 2 people with baggage and hang ups can actually try and work things out. I believe in happy ever after and true love
Its just that I dont seem to be able to find it..
well thats what I have been doing.
with A with P
holding onto to something hoping one day something will happen
it doesnt.
the reasons we split up are still there and they dont go away, they dont miraculously resolve themselves. All it does is to hinder moving on. I have not been able to move on from A and from P.
Hoping one of them would suddenly realise I was the one that got away.
It stopped me from wanting to meet new people, to date again and to pick up and start making a new life for myself.
Its been really hard facing up to the truth of firstly how I felt about those 2 men, then the fact that I had to sever all ties and stop pretending that we could be friends.
I hated hearing about how P was off in Europe without me, living his life (he says he isnt happy but he made the decision to not make a go of it with me) The thing with P was that I adored him, he was like my best friend, someone I trusted and wanted to be with, in the beginning I pulled away and said lets just be friends.
P then very quickly found another girlfriend and I did feel that he was just into me as a friend as he found someone else so quickly. Then when he split with the new girlfriend, we started hanging out more. that was when I really started to fall for him, but he left for Monaco...
So I figured I didnt have anyone, might as well just go get what I could from A..
Just sex and nothing more... but I was with A, on and off from 2009, and it was hard to get him out of my system.. I made excuses to have him in my bed just one more time..
A is a different kettle of fish though, he just wasnt into me and I wasted so many years not listening to my instincts and thinking if only.. He did take advantage of how I felt about him to get what he wanted. He was callous, dismissive and brutal, and I let him do that to me.
My instinct was always to get as far away from A as possible, but he knew what buttons to push to bring me back to him.
I have written about A so many times, how I say no more and swear that I will never go back.. I delete his number and when he texts a few months later, I am like a woman dying of thirst, given that first drop of cool water..
Its just that I dont seem to be able to find it..
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