I was very flattered when I first started going out with P, flattered that a man actually wanted to spend time with me , but after awhile I also started to resent his intrusion into my life. That's when I realized that something didn't quite feel right. I had let the flattery and the attention P gave me, take over from what I was actually feeling. I let my head rule and I didn't listen to my heart..... Not a good option for me.
I was stressed out these past few weeks knowing that I didn't feel as much for him as I should. I struggled not knowing what to do as I really liked P but I was fast realizing that it was friendship rather than love. I kept telling myself that here was this nice man who likes me and who wants to make me happy, but I knew that I felt a deep friendship for him and nothing more. I felt like I was leading him on. This man deserves someone to love him completely, to cherish him and to make him happy. I am not that woman.
So this leaves me with a lot to think about. I keep saying I want someone to share my life with me yet when I find a nice man who wanted to do just that, I shut him out. Am I too set in my ways and too independent that I can't let anyone in or is it that P just wasn't the right man?
All I know is that I am single again..........